crim2069

So the girl I had just been seeing called me up all angry and drunk...we were suppose to spend my birthday together...What ever...I am all set with that shit...She wanted me to rub lotion on her back because she got sunburned tomorrow...and she was like you don't care...And I am thinking...hmm well it must of been bothering you so much that you been out at someone else's birthday celebration...Robert Miller survived not one but two attacks by a grizzly bear...Good self-preservation skills...Now he can celebrate my birthday!! What's up with those View Bitches...Leave Michael Jackson alone...he's dead...I will be writing a review of my birthday baked Ziti on Sunday...Today in 1906, Pittsburgh millionaire Harry Thaw shoots and kills prominent architect Stanford White... I had a day off before my birthday...I got a lot done..Right now I am watching Stutter Island with Riley the Dog...Happy Birthday Linda Cardellini, you make one hot ass...Velma! What a Crazy Red Sox game last night...Omg I am so horny...I must keep thinking about baseball...Mikey Lowell was placed on the disabled list...Yup I got $29 in my wallet...Rolled to subway...The line was a fortnight...Still got $12...Riley the dog layed outside today for a while and worked on his tan...Researchers in the field of astrobiology have found that Earths current conditions are temporary and that Earths stable climate is an anomaly that will end in the next billion years...White Out was invented by the mother of Mike Nesmith, Formerly of the Monkees...I love the part of 'American Pie when Jim's dad asks Jim, "Now, do you know what a clitoris is?" ROTF!!
Immanuel Kant was the last influential philosopher of modern Europe in the classic sequence of the theory of knowledge during the Enlightenment beginning with thinkers John Locke, George Berkeley, and David Hume...Ok the golden rule is never give up your fire arm...Happy Birthday George Michael!! So I woke up this morning...I had totally given up on the idea of working...I went for a walk with Riley the dog after throwing in a load of wash...Of course the first thing I did this morning was make a load...Riley and I watched the men work on the never ending side walk...He then had his brunch while I mowed the lawn...I don't care if the game is 4 1/2 hours long...It's the baseball, the Red Sox!! I so know the Boston Bruins are going to trade the #2 pick...and it's not for this years number #1...They are going to trade it with the panthers or Blue Jackets...and either get Erik Gudbranson or Cam Fowler...why do you think they moved Wideman...Sugar and cocoa are often added to cigarettes, a fact many diabetic smokers are unaware of...BTW I do not want boobs on my body for my birthday...I want to see someone else's boobs on my birthday! I would take Michelle Flaherty over Nadia any day of the week...It's all about personiality...Today in 1949, Long-Haired Hare, starring Bugs Bunny, is released in theaters...Happy Birthday Carly Simon!! Daisuke Matsuzaka returned from the disabled list last night...Matsuzaka allowed two runs in a 37-pitch first inning that he described as awful...Dude throw strikes...I dusted off my tiara for my birthday tomorrow... Tori Spelling says Farrah Fawcett contacted her from the afterlife...Thongs are illegal in Melbourne, Florida as of January 2005...The punishment is a $500 fine or 60 days in jail...I wonder what the punishment is for nudity...Speaking of which...five and half hours till my birthday...Feel free to send me or even Riley the dog a gift...just be sure to let me know it was from you...Riley the dog sent me some awesome gifts from Amazon but it came in anonymous...
Today in 2006, Gilad Shalit, an Israeli soldier, is kidnapped by Palestinian terrorists in a cross-border raid from the Gaza Strip...On 23 April 2009, Shalit was made an honorary citizen of Miami...The move was announced during a municipality council meeting, which also approved a bill declaring Israel's Independence Day as "Israel Day" in Miami...The Law of 4...Who is 67...My Thoughts are with you Chad Jones...Mel Gibson has filed for a restraining order against Oksana Grigorieva, his ex-girlfriend and mother of his seven-month-old daughter...Where is Rachel Solando?? I have the shortest grass in the neighborhood...Hmm strange all the phone lines are down in a horror movie...Jonathan Papelbon had a two-run lead in the ninth inning and allowed a two-run bloop single down the left field line by Colorado's Brad Hawpe. He blew his second save in as many appearances, marking the first time that had happened since May 7-9, 2008...
Monkeys express affection and make peace with others by grooming each other...I brushed Riley the dog today after tanning...His coat is so shiny...Michael Nesmith had a cameo appearance as a taxi driver in the Whoopi Goldberg film Burglar...

Today in 1953, it was 86 degrees in Anchorage Alaska...Happy Birthday Carlos Delgado!! I was thinking of Sara this morning...I just heard Doctor Moreau from shutter island say, "men like you are my speciality"...Is this a gay movie? I know Leonardo dicaprio is in it...Now they are speaking German...oh boy...What is the law...Not to walk on all fours...Today in 1903, Boston Beaneater Wiley Piatt is only 20th-century pitcher to lose 2 complete games in one day, falling to Pittsburgh 1-0 and 5-3...Golden Rule # 2, never be in a bathroom alone with George Michael!! Negative 40 degrees Celsius is the same temperature as Negative 40 degrees Fahrenheit...Today in 1938, Federal minimum wage law guarantees workers 40 cents per hour...Happy Birthday Angela Kinsey!! Riley the dog was so cute while was taking his afternoon nap...He was rolling around no his back with paws up in the air...Today's scum bag of the week is Sherwood Stevenson...The 72-year-old Pennsylvania man has been arrested for allegedly taking a Royal Caribbean cruise with the intent of molesting a child...I am moving on from this story...It's really incredible that stuff like this happens...It's my birthday...I guess in retrospect...Watching Silence of the Lambs as you go to sleep is not the best idea...While I was sleeping I could hear Buffalo Bill saying, "you wanna fuck me"...I think kept saying no thank you... The"Hannibal Lecter of France" has been sent to prison for 30 years after admitting that he attacked his cellmate and ate part of his lung after sauteing it with onions on a makeshift prison grill...Nicolas Cocaign, 38, said he punched and stabbed Thierry Baudry, 41, with scissors after Baudry gave him a "dirty and aggressive look" during an argument in the prison cell...Cocaign then smothered him with a bag...When Cocaign was asked why he ate the lung, "wanted to take his soul." But, he added, "I was curious to see what he tasted like." Glad I am not in prison...Lot of weirdos there...Of course you shouldn't let one bad apple ruin the whole bunch (just incase I have to go to prison someday)...If you have 3 quarters, 4 dimes, and 4 pennies, you have $1.19...Instead of oil...What about using Lava for energy...

Today in 1950, The Korean War begins with the invasion of South Korea by North Korea...Happy Birthday Lauren Bush!! Speaking of Birthdays...A man was reportedly shot early Friday morning outside a Virginia Beach club, where Eagles quarterback Michael Vick was holding his 30th birthday party...An attorney for Vick, Larry Woodward, said his client was neither involved nor present at the time of the shooting...Why would anyone think such a fine upstanding member of the community like Michael Vick be involved?? Karma baby...I <3 dogs...I would not let Michael Vick pat Riley the Dog...Did Brazil win...was there bedlem on the streets...What is the status of that Baked Ziti...No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver and purple...I won't let her ruin my birthday celebration...