I woke up this morning with a bad hangover...And my penis was missing again...This happens all the time...It's detachable...This comes in handy a lot of the time... I can leave it home when I think it's going to get me in trouble...Or I can rent it out when I don't need it...Happy Birthday Roger Ebert...bet you wish you were still dating Oprah Winfrey!! So your tired of these motherfuckin' snakes on this motherfuckin' plane...Hey don't loose your head...Btw...A Southwest Airlines worker stumbled across a few boxes of human heads at the Little Rock, Ark., airport...It turns out the 40 to 60 whole and partial heads heads were bound for a medical laboratory in Fort Worth, Texas...What do you think Daryl Hall & John Oates did in the down time while touring...Were they playing the Ateri 2600...frogger or pac-man?? So I woke up today and did my walk with Riley the dog...I had the day off...Fucking economy...When they say a tough economy...it means the rich get richer and poor to middle suffer more...For those who live in the UK...Happy Waterloo Day!! Today in 1928, Aviator Amelia Earhart becomes the first woman to fly in an aircraft across the Atlantic Ocean...PS she was just a passenger...not the pilot...Debrahlee Lorenzana is too Sexy for Citigroup...Too Sexy for Citigroup...Where the hell is Jacoby Ellsbury...He is in a fucking coma...How the Hell do you miss almost half a season with a broken rib... But now and then I go to a party...Get drunk...And the next morning I can't for the life of me...Remember what I did with it...First I looked around my apartment...And I couldn't find it...So I called up the place where the party was...They hadn't seen it either...I asked them to check the medicine cabinet...'Cause for some reason I leave it there sometimes But not this time...So I told them if it pops up to let me know...Today's Manny moment from the past is a quote from Manny being down to the Indians 3 game to 0 in the ALCS, "It doesnt happen, so who cares? Theres always next year. Its not like its the end of the world. So I mowed the lawn today...That took forever...Did three loads of wash...Took a bubble bath...Today in 1994, Gay Games open in New York City...The hockey team St. Louis Blues offered a line of merchandise in the early 1990s nicknamed "Hull and Oates" after forwards Brett Hull and Adam Oates...Happy Birthday Paul McCartney!! I called a few people who were at the party...But they were no help either...I was starting to get desperate...I really don't like being without my penis for too long...It makes me feel like less of a man...And I really hate to have to sit down every time I take a leak....The Red Soxs average ticket price of $52.32...Today in 1989, John Wayne Bobbitt marries Lorena L Gallo...Holy Mistake Batman...Do you remember Manny's last year here...He had a dugout fight with Kevin Youkilis, then he shoved Jack McCormick-the teams traveling secertary, and then had a phantom knee injury where he couldn't play against the Yankers...Not only did the Celtics get hosed by the corrupt officials against the Lakers last night but The United States of America got hosed today by other corrupt officials...The worst part is the Lakers won because that's the NBA storylined it...I am not sure I understand how World Cup soccer works...What does it mean when you tie Czechoslovakia...Today in 860, Swedish Vikings attack Constantinople...Do you think the Vikings had there own Hall and Oats?? Two guys that would jam out smooth love songs...Happy Autistic Pride Day!! What's Big Papi got to say about Manny coming back to play in Fenway with the Dudders...."Just one of those times that you see your boy on the other side," Ortiz said...
I got a phone call from my friend Chad today trying to make reservations with me...for a birthday week night...Today in 1975, Fred Lynn gets 10 RBIs in a Red Sox 15-1 victory over Tigers...Happy Birthday Bruce Smith!!After a few hours of searching the house...And calling everyone I could think of I was starting to get very depressed...So I went to the Kiev and ate breakfast... Then as I walked down Second Avenue toward St. Mark's Place...Where all those people sell used books and other junk on the street...I saw my penis lying on a blanket next to a broken toaster oven...Some guy was selling it...I had to buy it off him...He wanted 22 bucks but I talked him down to 17...I took it home...Washed it off...And put it back on...I was happy again...Complete...God Bless Task Force 20!!Today in 1980, "Blues Brothers" with Dan Akwoyd and John Belushi premieres...TGIF...Tonight will be Itailian!! I wouldn't be a bit surprised if Manny came dressed as Santa Claus to Fenway tonight...Ghetto Basket is hot!!
John and Lorena Bobbitt difficult relationship gained worldwide notice for an incident in 1993 when Lorena severed John's penis with a knife...After assaulting her husband, Lorena left the apartment with the severed penis, drove a short while, then rolled down the car window and threw the penis into a field...Realizing the severity of the incident, she stopped and called 911...After an exhaustive search, the penis was located, packed in ice, and brought to the hospital where John was being treated....Happy Birthday Willa Holland!! People sometimes tell me I should get it permanently attached But I don't know....Even though sometimes it's a pain in the ass...I like having a detachable penis...
Seven Days Left...