As I pen this I am fuming mad and in disbelief after a two hour argument with a co-worker about my inter-racial relationship. I am very aware that my venting on this platform as opposed to any other with a wider audience with a bigger pool of black women specifically would yield different responses. With all of this being said understand whom ever reads this that i will be carefully wording my argument but I still expect to miscommunicate some of my points. I can also so see this could run on...I apologize in advance.
I really don't remember much about how this argument started started except saying to a black coworker that i was proud of her for completing school and earning a bachelors degree. I congratulated her because she had an accomplishment...my other black co-worker then mentions an article on msn probably about a guy who just tattoo'd "netflix" on his body and got a free years subscription to the service. He followed this up in jest by saying "had to be a black guy" and then saying something along the lines of him being the type of guy she would date. I followed suit by saying yeah I was just about to say the same thing to stop dating those "hoodlums". He attitude changed at that point now that I think about it and she defended her boyfriend as to not being a hoodlum. She then took a shot at me by saying that I only date white women. Now this is not the first time this has come up and I had grown tired of defending myself, so I said "this is true you know me well." The gentleman I was with also chimed in obviously antagonizing her by saying " he would be proud" to say he doesn't like black women. She then responded to that by saying that the only reason we (black men who date white women) do so is because white women are easy and or docile.
I think from this point on the argument started to take really weird turns and online a letter that has been circulating through emails and Facebook. The type that usually ends in send this to 10 people or suffer a horrible love life. The type that people forward anyway with out double checking sources but take everything word for word not question motive. It was a letter to Sister 2 sister Magazine in which an open letter was went asking black women to change their attitude and to stop being mad at her for dating a black man. They should change their attitudes and stop being among a few things "jealous, needy, and aggressive in relationships" and asking the audience of the magazine's target market; black women to think about it and as black men why they don't stick the black women.
I whole heartedly believe the letter is a hoax but if it isn't its the most well written response to the woman's perceived or real hostility toward black women. A black man responded by say that white women are "easy," and more compliant, referencing "back in the day" men would seek out white women for these reasons. The writer responding demonstrated that he was successfully employed and educated. Al the while using or responding with the same undertone of stereotypes that have existed for years about this issue. It just doesn't make sense and I challenged her to find the original sources to the email and prove that the letter was real. the is a version of that letter her, it was a well pen'd response to an otherwise sensitive situation.
If you're reading this and thinking what the fuck, just know that I was saying "what the fuck out loud. She brought this letter in as an example and to reinforce her point she began to accuse my girlfriend of being docile.
You know there is so much wrong with this and I am very aware of the social influences that affect her opinion and I happen to know that it is all negative influences. I've seen those influence on her; and by her responses about sexuality and her expressing homophobia.
It angers me to hear these things, truly does. I've have had only 2 serious relationships while living on my way and away from my parents. The last which lasted 3 years and this one in the 3rd year. Before that my high school sweetheart was an ethnic mix of black and Puerto-Rican. So its hard for me to really argue my point to her by saying hey not "all or most" black women" because I truly don't stand for that kind of jealousy in any relationship.
I don't see why I have to defend myself to people when it come to this but i've come to expect this from black people. Accusations that Im not one of them because of the way I speak and dress and my friends. Right after re-iterating her point she uses a phone call she overheard between my girlfriend and I as an example of how easy she was because she and any black woman would have a problem with it. I believe i was out late with some coworkers after the irene storm drinking until the bar close...i think my shift ended at 11 that day. So i had been out for a while when i got a call from my girlfriend worried about me not being home. In a half sleep she asked and I told her i was "out with friends and at this point im not sure when I'll be home but ill head home soon" she said ok and went right back to sleep.
What I saw as a testament to our relationship and her trust in me, she saw as her being nieve. She thinks that my girlfriend was soft for not questioning me and demanding I "get my butt home immediately".
Last I checked I was a grown ass man, a person, someone responsible for myself. Why would I even phathom taking an order like that. Ok let me be honest, if she said hey I want you to come home now because i need you...hell yeah, but an order. Its so fucking frustrating to have these arguments with black women because there is still some very deep rooted racism towards white women and hatred toward these women who date black men. Whats worst is her opinion of me-- that I took the easy way because I chose to avoid a "strong, opinionated black woman" and to her that make s me look weak and she thinks i'm being a traitor to my race. In the same breath she also claims that shes not being racist.
Yes you're being fucking racist and you dont even realize how racist you are. Unbelievable, when I think about the fact that she took all those sociology classes in school and learned nothing about sensitivity and reasoning. All women aren't the same; but to single out only white women as being easy is a stupid argument to begin with and to assume that the exclusive reason i'm with the person i'm with is because she is white and embodies the opposite of all the perceived flaws stereotypical of black women.
I am dating the woman I am with because I love the person she; is not because shes white. We have so many shared interests and views and a lifestyle that it doesn't matter whether she was black or not. This doesn't happen as often as one might think-- being challenged as a black man or questioning my girlfriends competence as a woman because she doesn't command or presume any control over my where what and who..what the fuck. It happens often enough to insight me to rage because I have faith in humanity for some reason.
I really don't remember much about how this argument started started except saying to a black coworker that i was proud of her for completing school and earning a bachelors degree. I congratulated her because she had an accomplishment...my other black co-worker then mentions an article on msn probably about a guy who just tattoo'd "netflix" on his body and got a free years subscription to the service. He followed this up in jest by saying "had to be a black guy" and then saying something along the lines of him being the type of guy she would date. I followed suit by saying yeah I was just about to say the same thing to stop dating those "hoodlums". He attitude changed at that point now that I think about it and she defended her boyfriend as to not being a hoodlum. She then took a shot at me by saying that I only date white women. Now this is not the first time this has come up and I had grown tired of defending myself, so I said "this is true you know me well." The gentleman I was with also chimed in obviously antagonizing her by saying " he would be proud" to say he doesn't like black women. She then responded to that by saying that the only reason we (black men who date white women) do so is because white women are easy and or docile.
I think from this point on the argument started to take really weird turns and online a letter that has been circulating through emails and Facebook. The type that usually ends in send this to 10 people or suffer a horrible love life. The type that people forward anyway with out double checking sources but take everything word for word not question motive. It was a letter to Sister 2 sister Magazine in which an open letter was went asking black women to change their attitude and to stop being mad at her for dating a black man. They should change their attitudes and stop being among a few things "jealous, needy, and aggressive in relationships" and asking the audience of the magazine's target market; black women to think about it and as black men why they don't stick the black women.
I whole heartedly believe the letter is a hoax but if it isn't its the most well written response to the woman's perceived or real hostility toward black women. A black man responded by say that white women are "easy," and more compliant, referencing "back in the day" men would seek out white women for these reasons. The writer responding demonstrated that he was successfully employed and educated. Al the while using or responding with the same undertone of stereotypes that have existed for years about this issue. It just doesn't make sense and I challenged her to find the original sources to the email and prove that the letter was real. the is a version of that letter her, it was a well pen'd response to an otherwise sensitive situation.
If you're reading this and thinking what the fuck, just know that I was saying "what the fuck out loud. She brought this letter in as an example and to reinforce her point she began to accuse my girlfriend of being docile.
You know there is so much wrong with this and I am very aware of the social influences that affect her opinion and I happen to know that it is all negative influences. I've seen those influence on her; and by her responses about sexuality and her expressing homophobia.
It angers me to hear these things, truly does. I've have had only 2 serious relationships while living on my way and away from my parents. The last which lasted 3 years and this one in the 3rd year. Before that my high school sweetheart was an ethnic mix of black and Puerto-Rican. So its hard for me to really argue my point to her by saying hey not "all or most" black women" because I truly don't stand for that kind of jealousy in any relationship.
I don't see why I have to defend myself to people when it come to this but i've come to expect this from black people. Accusations that Im not one of them because of the way I speak and dress and my friends. Right after re-iterating her point she uses a phone call she overheard between my girlfriend and I as an example of how easy she was because she and any black woman would have a problem with it. I believe i was out late with some coworkers after the irene storm drinking until the bar close...i think my shift ended at 11 that day. So i had been out for a while when i got a call from my girlfriend worried about me not being home. In a half sleep she asked and I told her i was "out with friends and at this point im not sure when I'll be home but ill head home soon" she said ok and went right back to sleep.
What I saw as a testament to our relationship and her trust in me, she saw as her being nieve. She thinks that my girlfriend was soft for not questioning me and demanding I "get my butt home immediately".
Last I checked I was a grown ass man, a person, someone responsible for myself. Why would I even phathom taking an order like that. Ok let me be honest, if she said hey I want you to come home now because i need you...hell yeah, but an order. Its so fucking frustrating to have these arguments with black women because there is still some very deep rooted racism towards white women and hatred toward these women who date black men. Whats worst is her opinion of me-- that I took the easy way because I chose to avoid a "strong, opinionated black woman" and to her that make s me look weak and she thinks i'm being a traitor to my race. In the same breath she also claims that shes not being racist.
Yes you're being fucking racist and you dont even realize how racist you are. Unbelievable, when I think about the fact that she took all those sociology classes in school and learned nothing about sensitivity and reasoning. All women aren't the same; but to single out only white women as being easy is a stupid argument to begin with and to assume that the exclusive reason i'm with the person i'm with is because she is white and embodies the opposite of all the perceived flaws stereotypical of black women.
I am dating the woman I am with because I love the person she; is not because shes white. We have so many shared interests and views and a lifestyle that it doesn't matter whether she was black or not. This doesn't happen as often as one might think-- being challenged as a black man or questioning my girlfriends competence as a woman because she doesn't command or presume any control over my where what and who..what the fuck. It happens often enough to insight me to rage because I have faith in humanity for some reason.
VIEW 13 of 13 COMMENTS
rustbelt:
Creon, I am generally not attracted to Black girls/women. In my opinion, what someone is attracted to has nothing to to with racism, stereotyping, or prejudice and more to do with the plain old animal chemistry of pheromones. However, in the most recent weeks I have met a girl from Ghana. She is an African African (lol). I find myself extremely attracted to her and it has more to do with how she carries herself (and of course the accent :love
than skin tone.
than skin tone. 
creon:
Rust...You got Soul brother, she'd be lucky!