Well. So. Right. It seems rather clumsy to just come out and say it but the beauty of writing about stuff like this on the Internet on a site like this is it combines the best aspects of shouting into the darkness and confiding in your friends. I get to fire off words into the ether like tiny purging little fragments of emotion but you still have that safety net there to keep you grounded.
But I digress, my rather brief journal entry was due to the fact that on tuesday night I received a call to let me know that my great-aunt had died. I knew as soon as the phone started ringing what it would be, and answered the phone a little numb. I still don't think it's really hit me yet, it probably will once I'm at the funeral, like it did with my grandfather, but who knows.
It just feels essentially wrong. My earliest memories of my great-aunt are not so much of a person, but some indomitable force of will. Her and my grandmother held a curious kind of co-matriarchy on my father's side of the family. My grandmother was the one everyone crowded round, came back to for Christmas, doted over. My great aunt was the one everyone wanted to impress. Whenever I got my report cards, it was always her we thought of telling about the grades I got and she had an unmistakable air of authority about her. I guess it's true, teachers never really stop being teachers.
And yet, for all that, she was never harsh, never intimidating, always loving. I think what I'll remember best is her laugh. It'd catch sometimes in her slightly raspy, ex-smoker's throat, but was always bubbly, joyfull, full of life. I think that's a good memory to take with me.
I've been listening to the song in my last journal an awful lot recently ('The '59 Sound' by The Gaslight Anthem) as it's matched my mood. I really should stop before it impresses itself onto my brain as the official soundtrack of my family passing away. That would totally suck.
Other than that, of course, things continue on as ever. I have a lot to look forwards to ahead of me, and a lot of wonderful people to share it with. All things considered, I'm doing pretty good.
But I digress, my rather brief journal entry was due to the fact that on tuesday night I received a call to let me know that my great-aunt had died. I knew as soon as the phone started ringing what it would be, and answered the phone a little numb. I still don't think it's really hit me yet, it probably will once I'm at the funeral, like it did with my grandfather, but who knows.
It just feels essentially wrong. My earliest memories of my great-aunt are not so much of a person, but some indomitable force of will. Her and my grandmother held a curious kind of co-matriarchy on my father's side of the family. My grandmother was the one everyone crowded round, came back to for Christmas, doted over. My great aunt was the one everyone wanted to impress. Whenever I got my report cards, it was always her we thought of telling about the grades I got and she had an unmistakable air of authority about her. I guess it's true, teachers never really stop being teachers.
And yet, for all that, she was never harsh, never intimidating, always loving. I think what I'll remember best is her laugh. It'd catch sometimes in her slightly raspy, ex-smoker's throat, but was always bubbly, joyfull, full of life. I think that's a good memory to take with me.
I've been listening to the song in my last journal an awful lot recently ('The '59 Sound' by The Gaslight Anthem) as it's matched my mood. I really should stop before it impresses itself onto my brain as the official soundtrack of my family passing away. That would totally suck.
Other than that, of course, things continue on as ever. I have a lot to look forwards to ahead of me, and a lot of wonderful people to share it with. All things considered, I'm doing pretty good.
VIEW 23 of 23 COMMENTS
no, seriously. and no, it's not blasphemous. it's just not one of my favourite treasure games.
I'd much prefer that they ported radiant silvergun or astro boy or gradius v
although if I'm making lists? add rolling thunder, jackal and the original splatterhouse.
sure, the last one's probably what's going to happen given that they're remaking it and all... but I'd also like any of the others.
At least you have very fond memories of her which you can treasure always. I know that isn't much comfort or consolation for you at the moment. ♥
xo