Right, well, Hello my lovely lovely people of SGland. This is all a load of all wank, isn't it? Aah well, at least the speed's back up a bit. That aside, things have actually been quite eventful for me lately. Biggest news is I shall soon be the flatmate of some twat in a rather nifty flat down Saaaaaf Landon. I've earned his favour already... Read More
Witness The Fitness says:
I'm in two minds about whether or not I'm going to go to the gym or sleep for three years
Ben says:
I would not expect you to have this sort of quandary
Witness The Fitness says:
I made it with a chick last night
Witness The Fitness says:
I am fatigued
Ben says:
Aah
Ben says:
Well then count that... Read More
Well, it's certainly been an interesting week, that's for sure. I suppose I should make some kind of perfunctory effort to chronicle events. It started off on wednesday when I decided to trek down to Woking to hang out with Sinope. I can only wonder as to what prompted me to such events, possibly some kind of head injury. Regardless, an enjoyable time was... Read More
Oi! You try talking to a camera and see how many 'umms' you say, mofo! I'm gonna ADD 'umms' to my next video just to piss you off! And stop threatening to stab me with your pink sword! Hope you're well
Oh man, I just committed myself to a stupidly huge and involved project with no incentive other than it being completely awesome to do. I can't decide if this is the worst or best decision I've ever made. On the plus side, if I pull it off well enough, it'll let me manipulate and terrify the entire Internet, and who doesn't love doing that?
Oh lord, well that was a rather eventful weekend. You know, I was just thinking to myself how long it's been since I've had a really good 'Jesus Creamy why do you keep attracting these fucking freaks' story. Just goes to show you should be careful what you wish for. Or else you might get it in spades.
Right, because it was too good to allow to die off in a moment of SGUK lunacy, I present to you, quite possibly the most erotic fiction you will ever read
Right, first of all, there's no video on this, but feel free to let the awesomeness of Asian Kung-Fu Generation act as a soundtrack for this post
Right, so then, Happy Birthday to me. Big hugs and bad touching for everyone who sent birthday wishes, decide amongst yourself how those are to be apportioned. I spent my actual birthday itself rather quietly, just pottering around... Read More
A,
The war is still on, it's far worse than pussy gangland fighting, it's more like the battle for Helms Deep. Uiop (my right hand man) is the only notable casualty so far, he was a fine fighter and he made a really good cup of tea But 1000s of foot soldiers have been sent to their doom today
Is there any hope for us, or are the rumors true?
Are we just the mulch and kindling that accrues?
Can we recover from this?
Hello again you staggering bucket of twats. I should probably pull out the same cliche line again about oh, hasn't it been ages since I last updated and all that jazz, but fuck it. It has been a while though,... Read More
Good evening my lovelies. Had a good Christmas? Bellies full and bored of your shiny new presents? I've had a lovely time thankyou very much. I ate a lot of good food and scored a lot of shiny new swag. Plus I spent time in the company of my family, which made me realise how much more out of touch I'm getting... Read More
I am a bad, bad person.
Nearly as bad as I was when I got told that someones grandad had had a heart attack while riding his bike home and i had to leave the room because i was laughing so much.
It was the image of him toppling sideways....I couldn't stop myself.
This post is brought to you by Co-Dydramol, the painkiller of choice for hardcore motherfuckers everywhere, and don't let anyone convince you otherwise
So my kiddies, it's been a good long while, I have been away from SG-land and the Intarweb in general. for some reason, this combined with the idea of me not drinking at a meet, has apparently led... Read More
I'm gonna ADD 'umms' to my next video just to piss you off! And stop threatening to stab me with your pink sword! 
Hope you're well 
But 1000s of foot soldiers have been sent to their doom today 
piggybacks are BANNED now mate!!!
street dogs are kicking my arse. i can't deal with how great they are. i hope you got a gig ticket!
Xbox 360's any good then?