So like it finally happened. I got on TV!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm a fucking TV star!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yeah, I know, it is a dream come true. So if you watch television and like a couple days ago you were in Portland and you watched the news on channel 12 at 11pm then you know what I am talking about. They interviewed me and for 15 seconds I was famous.
If you want an autograph.... I can help you with that! I have been signing autographs in anticipation of the deluge of fan letters... I figure the post office had to hire someone just to handle my mail box alone! So get your request in soon.... my agent says I have to limit the autographs to 5 million.... and you know that will happen quickly!!!
SO my interview went like this:
Television Reporter: Yesterday a police officer had her gun stolen from her car while she was off duty. DO you think the police should have a rule about proper safety guidelines yada yada yada?
Me (rakishly handsome with a 5 o'clock stubble): Well I doubt anything can be done about off duty time, but it seems like you should take precautions to avoid your gun being stolen.
Reporter: This was the second time the officer has had her gun stolen.
Me (still devishly charming): Second Time?
Reporter: Yes, both times the gun was sitting in a purse in her car. It was a specially designed purse made specifically for carrying a gun.
Me (looking ravishing): Well there ya go. The thief saw a purse, broke in got the cash and a bonus gun. The crook wasn't going for the gun. Everyone knows valuables left in a car should not be in plain sight, this officer has probably told someone that when she has been on duty. If you don't want it to be stolen the least you should do is put it under the seat, especially when your gun is involved. The fact that the gun owner is a police officer and it happened twice just makes it pathetic.
Reporter: Good point! Thank you for your time and can I get your name. You will be on the news tonight on channel 12 at 11. Have a good night (roughly translated: please date me you are irresistable!)
and here is what made the news:
Reporter: Blah blah blah gun blah blah blah blah. Blah Blah second time this officer has had her gun stolen from her car. Blah blah blah. But some residents were concerned.
(cut to me)
Mike Williams, Local Clackamas County resident
"it seems like you should take precautions to avoid your gun being stolen."
Reporter: And blah blah blah blah.....
And that is how the TV magic happens! I finally was one of those people that you watch and say who decided to interview that idiot?
I'm a fucking TV star!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yeah, I know, it is a dream come true. So if you watch television and like a couple days ago you were in Portland and you watched the news on channel 12 at 11pm then you know what I am talking about. They interviewed me and for 15 seconds I was famous.
If you want an autograph.... I can help you with that! I have been signing autographs in anticipation of the deluge of fan letters... I figure the post office had to hire someone just to handle my mail box alone! So get your request in soon.... my agent says I have to limit the autographs to 5 million.... and you know that will happen quickly!!!
SO my interview went like this:
Television Reporter: Yesterday a police officer had her gun stolen from her car while she was off duty. DO you think the police should have a rule about proper safety guidelines yada yada yada?
Me (rakishly handsome with a 5 o'clock stubble): Well I doubt anything can be done about off duty time, but it seems like you should take precautions to avoid your gun being stolen.
Reporter: This was the second time the officer has had her gun stolen.
Me (still devishly charming): Second Time?
Reporter: Yes, both times the gun was sitting in a purse in her car. It was a specially designed purse made specifically for carrying a gun.
Me (looking ravishing): Well there ya go. The thief saw a purse, broke in got the cash and a bonus gun. The crook wasn't going for the gun. Everyone knows valuables left in a car should not be in plain sight, this officer has probably told someone that when she has been on duty. If you don't want it to be stolen the least you should do is put it under the seat, especially when your gun is involved. The fact that the gun owner is a police officer and it happened twice just makes it pathetic.
Reporter: Good point! Thank you for your time and can I get your name. You will be on the news tonight on channel 12 at 11. Have a good night (roughly translated: please date me you are irresistable!)
and here is what made the news:
Reporter: Blah blah blah gun blah blah blah blah. Blah Blah second time this officer has had her gun stolen from her car. Blah blah blah. But some residents were concerned.
(cut to me)
Mike Williams, Local Clackamas County resident
"it seems like you should take precautions to avoid your gun being stolen."
Reporter: And blah blah blah blah.....
And that is how the TV magic happens! I finally was one of those people that you watch and say who decided to interview that idiot?
mykel:
Awesome!