*Bit of a longer post please bear with me*
If you were following my blog last June you know that my mother died after having a heart attack after a choking incident. She spent 5 days in the ICU on life support before being declared brain dead. This was my first Mother’s Day without my mom. Normally, if I was not working, I would have taken my mom out to Mother’s Day dinner and spent the entire day with her. This was the first one I haven’t spent with her in years. I still feel numb and like none of it is real. Hears the story of my mom (really my mom and I.
I’m what I call a “Well Adjusted Mama’s Boy”. I believe that there’s 4 women a man should be willing to fight to the death for. His mom, sister, girlfriend/wife, and daughter. I am super protective of my mom. My mom and I used to have lunch a few times a month and if I wasn’t exhausted, we’d do more. So, one time, we were at her favorite little family diner. So, I went to the bathroom and come back and this slimy dude is leaning over the table talking to her; clearly looking down her shirt. Now, I’m maybe 5’5 120 after a heavy meal while standing on a hill, and I said, “HEY! CAN I HELP YOU?”. He said, “Oh I’m just talking to your mom…” “…while looking down her shirt. Please leave, you are not her type…”. He walked away and the there was an older couple next to us and the older couple next to us just smiled. The woman said to my mom, “You’ve got a good boy there!” My mom just said, “I know…”
My mom was born in the suburbs of Chicago in 1951. She had an older sister who passed away 2 years ago after 4 bouts of cancer. They grew up in a volatile household to my grandmother who had severe psychiatric problems and my grandfather who was a WW2 Navy vet who struggled with alcoholism. My mom graduated high school and married my sister’s dad a year later. They had my sister and divorced a few years later. My mom met my dad in 1976 (he was home on leave from the Air Force. They got married very shortly thereafter and got stationed in Omaha Nebraska. In late 1978, early 1979 my dad received orders to be transferred to Kadena Airbase in Okinawa, Japan. While there, my mom became pregnant with me. After being there and homesickness being very real thing, she realized she couldn’t deal with it, especially given the condition of the country and that my dad was on flying status and could be gone for days. She made the decision in March of 1979 to fly home with me while being 3 months pregnant.
She got home and went to her mother who suggested that she end the pregnancy because my mom and dad had begun the divorce process, my aunt said the same. In fact, she said if she did, she’d let her move in until she got on her feet because she was for all intent and purposes single with an 8 year old. My mom obviously told her to shove it up her ass. My mom then went to my grandfather whom she had a falling out with years before. He gave her $1,000 and helped her get an apartment and car. She had me and raised me as a single mom…on her own. It wasn’t always easy, when I was little (baby to 4) she couldn’t work and then worked part time making $6/hr until I was in school full time. There was years where she was so extremely skinny (probably anorexia). She was about 5’1 and MAYBE 80LB because she was so stressed and unable to eat. Her doctor put her on the same extremely high calorie weight gainers that body builders used as well as anti-depressants. Once I got into school she was a “parent helper” in my first grade class. She consistently worked hard as a single mom. Driving me to and from school, making PTO meetings, parent teacher conferences, and field trips. if I started to “steer left” she grabbed me by the collar and “pulled me right”. I always have said that I didn’t have everything I wanted but had everything I needed; my mom was a BOSS.
In Jr. High I was mercilessly teased by a group of boys. My mom would call the school DAILY and was told, “Boys will be boys” (this was in early 90s before school shootings). In 7th grade I was having trouble in math class and I was so ashamed to tell my mom. She saw my report card and asked what the problem was. So scheduled a conference with the teacher, me, her and the principal. The failure of a teacher said
“He’s the lowest in my class with a 17%”
Her rabid tiger mom response?
“…AND YOU DIDN’T FUCKING CALL ME?!?!?!?!”
….THEN she said,
“MAYBE YOU SHOULD TRY FUCKING SOMETIME..IT’LL MAKE A MAN OUT OF YOU!”
🤣🤣🤣
He left the room and I was in a new class the next day…you didn’t want to mess with her kids…because the response was swift and brutal. My mom was a tough, strong, and hard woman but she was sweet, loving, kind, and generous too. I learned how to treat people from her.
I grew up a clean cut guy dressed up for school but but I loved the gnarly babes with piercings and colored hair. Something about them was damn sexy. If Suicide Girls had been around I would have loved it.
After I graduated high school I noticed she started to have big psychological problems. The best way to describe it is imagine you turn your car on, keep it in park, press the accelerator to the floor. Don’t take your foot off the gas until the transmission fails. That was her for years, going full speed, all go, no stop….
In 2001/2 I was living outside Milwaukee, Wisconsin in my first apartment ever. I was 21 and enjoying being away from home; for the first time. One Saturday morning I called her and was getting an answer. After 7 tries of not getting an answer calling her, I drove an hour away to my mom’s, I got to her house and found her in an unresponsive state. I went to call 911 and found an empty bottle of Tylenol and a suicide note. They took her to the hospital pumped her stomach and saved her life. She’d try twice more both unsuccessful.
She was one of the greatest woman WHO EVER LIVED. She showed me that a REAL WOMAN is intelligent, beautiful, tough, and doesn’t play bullshit games. I love a strong woman because of her…which is probably why I love this place.