The weekend was fairly incredible. Saturday night was Eric's / my birthday party at Kirsten's place. Eric and I spent close to $80.00 on booze and I searched drink recipes on the internet for close to an hour before coming to the perfect Cosmopolitan recipe. Which reminds me...everyone who says "Cosmos" are either for gay people or girls are full of themselves. The whole stigma of what you drink and what your sexual orientation happens to be is utter and complete bullshit. I like my Jack and Coke just as much as the next guy, but I also happen to like mixed drinks that actually taste good as well.
So anyways, Eric and I got to Kirsten's at around 4 and immediately started drinking. Eric thinned out my hair a bit and did a bit of trimming on the sides to clean things up, which I am immensely grateful for. People started showing up at about 8:00, and then everything started getting slightly weird.
Britt and Julie brought three friends along, Dana / Andrew / Sachin all showed up with their respective girlfriends, Tommy came, Yo didn't show up because I hate him, bunch of other people from work stopped by at various times, and Arie came back from the wedding at some point (can't remember exactly).
So at around 10:00, some friend of Britt's (Ana) shows up who I am not familiar with. About half an hour later, she and Britt take off to go to some stupid club in Hollywood. I go in to make myself and a bunch of other people more drinks, only to find my bottle of Finlandia Cranberry is mysteriously empty. Being the drunken idiot that I am, I automatically assume that some bitch named Ana stole my vodka. I then proceeded to call her up (Julie gave me her number) and spew off the most amazing voicemail I have ever given. It went something like:
"Hi, this is Brent...thanks for stealing my vodka. I don't even know you, and yet you have the audacity to come over to my birthday party, completely uninvited, and steal my vodka. You're a fucking bitch. Oh, and it was nice meeting you earlier."
Of course it wasn't that coherent, but that was the gist of it. What's even more amazing is that she didn't steal my vodka...people just made a ton of drinks during the interim period of me being inside and out in front of the condo. Oops. Sorry Ana.
Evidently pretty much everyone pissed Eric off on Saturday (he can be slightly irritable when he's intoxicated). Some psycho from Riverside with a laughable "I E" (Inland Empire) tattooed across his stomach kept touching Eric's wrists and commenting on his ink work, so of course Eric told him he was going to kick his ass (wouldn't we all?). The two went out on the patio and were ready to go at it when they somehow found a compelling topic to discuss and began a conversation. Interesting.
I also managed to piss off Arie's boyfriend who called from Texas by picking up the phone and screaming at him for no reason. Oops...it's my party and I'll scream if I want to?
Anyways, I got some great gifts from people:
-BB Sumotech / Tonic
-Incredibly fashionable tie
-Trendy drink shaker / accessories
-Drink recipe book (It has a recipe for Singapore Slings with mescal on the side...)
-Depeche Mode Videos 86>98
-Black / red tiger print night-light
-Plenty of cash
Thanks everyone.
The next day at work wasn't all that bad. The blender broke almost instantly, so all the suckers who wanted blended drinks had to fuck off. Our stupid manager Kelly had a little white board by the register promoting a Macadamia Nut Mocha. I didn't think the white board was compelling enough, so I asked her if I could change it to "Order a delicious new Macadamia Nut Mocha...or go to hell." Apparently 28-year-old college graduates didn't learn about sarcasm during their studies, and, noticing the look of utter shock on her face when she heard my proposal, I had to quickly explain to her that I was only kidding.
After the idiot left, I consulted Eric and decided to update the white board with a new promotion aimed at increasing sales of the Macadamia Nut Mocha. It read something like this:
"New!! EXTREME Macadamia Nut Mocha!! Insanely NUTTY flavor...all over your face!!"
Only one customer actually caught the innuendo; the rest commented on my creative penmanship.
-Brent
So anyways, Eric and I got to Kirsten's at around 4 and immediately started drinking. Eric thinned out my hair a bit and did a bit of trimming on the sides to clean things up, which I am immensely grateful for. People started showing up at about 8:00, and then everything started getting slightly weird.
Britt and Julie brought three friends along, Dana / Andrew / Sachin all showed up with their respective girlfriends, Tommy came, Yo didn't show up because I hate him, bunch of other people from work stopped by at various times, and Arie came back from the wedding at some point (can't remember exactly).
So at around 10:00, some friend of Britt's (Ana) shows up who I am not familiar with. About half an hour later, she and Britt take off to go to some stupid club in Hollywood. I go in to make myself and a bunch of other people more drinks, only to find my bottle of Finlandia Cranberry is mysteriously empty. Being the drunken idiot that I am, I automatically assume that some bitch named Ana stole my vodka. I then proceeded to call her up (Julie gave me her number) and spew off the most amazing voicemail I have ever given. It went something like:
"Hi, this is Brent...thanks for stealing my vodka. I don't even know you, and yet you have the audacity to come over to my birthday party, completely uninvited, and steal my vodka. You're a fucking bitch. Oh, and it was nice meeting you earlier."
Of course it wasn't that coherent, but that was the gist of it. What's even more amazing is that she didn't steal my vodka...people just made a ton of drinks during the interim period of me being inside and out in front of the condo. Oops. Sorry Ana.
Evidently pretty much everyone pissed Eric off on Saturday (he can be slightly irritable when he's intoxicated). Some psycho from Riverside with a laughable "I E" (Inland Empire) tattooed across his stomach kept touching Eric's wrists and commenting on his ink work, so of course Eric told him he was going to kick his ass (wouldn't we all?). The two went out on the patio and were ready to go at it when they somehow found a compelling topic to discuss and began a conversation. Interesting.
I also managed to piss off Arie's boyfriend who called from Texas by picking up the phone and screaming at him for no reason. Oops...it's my party and I'll scream if I want to?
Anyways, I got some great gifts from people:
-BB Sumotech / Tonic
-Incredibly fashionable tie
-Trendy drink shaker / accessories
-Drink recipe book (It has a recipe for Singapore Slings with mescal on the side...)
-Depeche Mode Videos 86>98
-Black / red tiger print night-light
-Plenty of cash
Thanks everyone.
The next day at work wasn't all that bad. The blender broke almost instantly, so all the suckers who wanted blended drinks had to fuck off. Our stupid manager Kelly had a little white board by the register promoting a Macadamia Nut Mocha. I didn't think the white board was compelling enough, so I asked her if I could change it to "Order a delicious new Macadamia Nut Mocha...or go to hell." Apparently 28-year-old college graduates didn't learn about sarcasm during their studies, and, noticing the look of utter shock on her face when she heard my proposal, I had to quickly explain to her that I was only kidding.
After the idiot left, I consulted Eric and decided to update the white board with a new promotion aimed at increasing sales of the Macadamia Nut Mocha. It read something like this:
"New!! EXTREME Macadamia Nut Mocha!! Insanely NUTTY flavor...all over your face!!"
Only one customer actually caught the innuendo; the rest commented on my creative penmanship.
-Brent
jae_murder:
ooooh i remember chaotic parties like that