Cosyne rips people apart: Part 1 of 5
Are you poor?
Yeah man, that sucks.
Hey now, don't be too hard on yourself -- we've all been there.
Don't worry though! Payday's just around the corner!
Oh shit! You don't have a job?
Man, that sucks! Was it just an intolerable work environment or were you wrongfully terminated?
What's that?
Oh.
You haven't had a job in six months?
Geez....well, it's a tough market, to be sure.
Just hang in there a little longer, I'm positive that if you keep looking...oh...
You're NOT looking.
You sit around all day drinking, you say?
Hmm.....and you're complaining about your money problems?
Well.....that's a liitle trickier, I guess.....
Hmmm....let me think....
Wait, I've got it!!!!
There's this place called Labor Works
And another called Labor Ready
All you have to do is go into the office in the morning and they send you to work
Heck, they;ll even drive you there if you don't have a car!
The best part is that you get paid in CASH at the end of the day!
Heck, even with the dismal job market we've got, you could surely have enough saved up to cover at least some of your bills
Oh....but.....what's that?
Well yes, I'm afraid you will probably have to get up before noon
No dice?
Well it's your life I suppose...but pray tell...how DO you pay your rent?
Oh.
You put it on a charge card?
An American Express card?
Well.....that sounds like....well, I'll be honest
I think that sounds like a fucking terrible idea, to be quite frank
How do you pay your bill each month?
You....don't?
But you say you just bought a rifle?
And that it totally kicks ass?
Hey don't let me stand between you and your fuck-buddy, the 2nd amendment....but I just think that you might want to consider the fact that you don't have an income, per se....
But yeah -- why worry, right?
Hey!
You know who would LOVE to hear your story?
Yeah!
Why don't we just step into my little time machine here so that you can go back to the late 1920's and observe the hundreds of thousands of people that left their fucking homes because the banks foreclosed on their farms because they weren't profitable enough and so they went west all because they simply wanted to make enough money to give their families enough food to eat but when they got there they could find any work because there were too many people out there already and so they starved to death when all they wanted to do was an honest day's work -- ALL THEY WANTED TO DO WAS WORK AND EARN MONEY TO FEED THEIR FAMILIES AND HERE YOU ARE GETTING DRUNK EVERY DAY AND BUYING RIFLES.
Let's get one thing very straight right now. You are a piece of dogshit. I pray to god that you end up completely destitute one day soon. In the meantume, I hope that you're developing some killer drug addictions to go with your unmatched laziness -- that way, when you become a TOTAL waste case (you're only 85% there now) I can ignore you -- the same way I ignore every other fucking deadbeat junkie begging for change on the street.
This rant is aimed at no one in particular.
Are you poor?
Yeah man, that sucks.
Hey now, don't be too hard on yourself -- we've all been there.
Don't worry though! Payday's just around the corner!
Oh shit! You don't have a job?
Man, that sucks! Was it just an intolerable work environment or were you wrongfully terminated?
What's that?
Oh.
You haven't had a job in six months?
Geez....well, it's a tough market, to be sure.
Just hang in there a little longer, I'm positive that if you keep looking...oh...
You're NOT looking.
You sit around all day drinking, you say?
Hmm.....and you're complaining about your money problems?
Well.....that's a liitle trickier, I guess.....
Hmmm....let me think....
Wait, I've got it!!!!
There's this place called Labor Works
And another called Labor Ready
All you have to do is go into the office in the morning and they send you to work
Heck, they;ll even drive you there if you don't have a car!
The best part is that you get paid in CASH at the end of the day!
Heck, even with the dismal job market we've got, you could surely have enough saved up to cover at least some of your bills
Oh....but.....what's that?
Well yes, I'm afraid you will probably have to get up before noon
No dice?
Well it's your life I suppose...but pray tell...how DO you pay your rent?
Oh.
You put it on a charge card?
An American Express card?
Well.....that sounds like....well, I'll be honest
I think that sounds like a fucking terrible idea, to be quite frank
How do you pay your bill each month?
You....don't?
But you say you just bought a rifle?
And that it totally kicks ass?
Hey don't let me stand between you and your fuck-buddy, the 2nd amendment....but I just think that you might want to consider the fact that you don't have an income, per se....
But yeah -- why worry, right?
Hey!
You know who would LOVE to hear your story?
Yeah!
Why don't we just step into my little time machine here so that you can go back to the late 1920's and observe the hundreds of thousands of people that left their fucking homes because the banks foreclosed on their farms because they weren't profitable enough and so they went west all because they simply wanted to make enough money to give their families enough food to eat but when they got there they could find any work because there were too many people out there already and so they starved to death when all they wanted to do was an honest day's work -- ALL THEY WANTED TO DO WAS WORK AND EARN MONEY TO FEED THEIR FAMILIES AND HERE YOU ARE GETTING DRUNK EVERY DAY AND BUYING RIFLES.
Let's get one thing very straight right now. You are a piece of dogshit. I pray to god that you end up completely destitute one day soon. In the meantume, I hope that you're developing some killer drug addictions to go with your unmatched laziness -- that way, when you become a TOTAL waste case (you're only 85% there now) I can ignore you -- the same way I ignore every other fucking deadbeat junkie begging for change on the street.
This rant is aimed at no one in particular.
VIEW 12 of 12 COMMENTS
saturn1:
umm, are you sure its aimed at no one in particular? except it really could be aimed at no one in particular because ive met, like, a lot of those people since being here in the fancy pacific northwest and i only been here a couple months!
abyssia:
I read "The Grapes of Wrath" way back in high school - but I'm wondering if this rant isn't somehow inspired by that tragic tale?