One sure sign that I've done some growing up is that my pet peeves have also become a little more grown up as well. For example, when I would play Worms on my Dreamcast I used my team called the Peevles. The Peevles consisted of the following wormmates:
No Turn Signal
Public Humping
Line Cutter
Apostrophe Abuse
Granted, these are all pretty serious offenses in my book....changing lanes without signaling is not only annoying, but also potentially life-threatening. Grabbing your girlfriend's ass in public is disrespectful both to her and to those around you who have to watch. Cutting in lines is the ultimate way to say "Fuck you!" and using apostrophes inappropriately is a great way to say, "Look at me! I'm a total dumbass that can't be bothered to use first-grade-level punctuation correctly"
But recently, my tastes have changed. If had to rename the members of my annelid team, I think I would dub them:
Loud Car Little Penis
Cell Phone in LIne
Unkempt Genetalia
Music and Software Theft
First off...Guys, seriously. If you drive through a parking lot at 45 mph without braking for such minor annoyances as corners or stop signs, you are saying to the world, "Hey I'm driving recklessly because my penis is very small!" It's a fucking inverse relation -- and it's also a FACT. Case closed. If you feel the need to floor it only to go 20 feet to the next stoplight, your penis is small, sorry.
Number 2 -- If you are on your phone when you place an order wherever I'm working, you will not be served. Period.
The third issue is one I've mentioned before, I know, but bears repeating. Trim please. It looks better. It feels better. It tastes better. And guys...that goes for you too -- don't think you're off the hook just because you can get away with shaving batman into your chest hair...Moving on....
And lastly, don't be a dick. Buy the CD. Promote art, don't stifle it.
****
OK, done ranting.
Fremont outdoor theater last night -- Bubba Ho-Tep. What a GREAT movie!! Bruce's one-liners were in top form as in all his work. And I got to meet Lum and Freckle for the first time -- both lovely people with mad amounts of sex appeal! And kudos to Dr_Phibes for bringing the Krispy Kremes!!!
No Turn Signal
Public Humping
Line Cutter
Apostrophe Abuse
Granted, these are all pretty serious offenses in my book....changing lanes without signaling is not only annoying, but also potentially life-threatening. Grabbing your girlfriend's ass in public is disrespectful both to her and to those around you who have to watch. Cutting in lines is the ultimate way to say "Fuck you!" and using apostrophes inappropriately is a great way to say, "Look at me! I'm a total dumbass that can't be bothered to use first-grade-level punctuation correctly"
But recently, my tastes have changed. If had to rename the members of my annelid team, I think I would dub them:
Loud Car Little Penis
Cell Phone in LIne
Unkempt Genetalia
Music and Software Theft
First off...Guys, seriously. If you drive through a parking lot at 45 mph without braking for such minor annoyances as corners or stop signs, you are saying to the world, "Hey I'm driving recklessly because my penis is very small!" It's a fucking inverse relation -- and it's also a FACT. Case closed. If you feel the need to floor it only to go 20 feet to the next stoplight, your penis is small, sorry.
Number 2 -- If you are on your phone when you place an order wherever I'm working, you will not be served. Period.
The third issue is one I've mentioned before, I know, but bears repeating. Trim please. It looks better. It feels better. It tastes better. And guys...that goes for you too -- don't think you're off the hook just because you can get away with shaving batman into your chest hair...Moving on....
And lastly, don't be a dick. Buy the CD. Promote art, don't stifle it.
****
OK, done ranting.
Fremont outdoor theater last night -- Bubba Ho-Tep. What a GREAT movie!! Bruce's one-liners were in top form as in all his work. And I got to meet Lum and Freckle for the first time -- both lovely people with mad amounts of sex appeal! And kudos to Dr_Phibes for bringing the Krispy Kremes!!!
VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
mrdeity:
I would have done the same thing if I was in your shoes. 
luminaire:
Sure you did.