cosyne

Uh oh
Here it comes
The Silly Desire to ramble endlessly
Let me start of by saying
A diet consisting entirely of coffee, bran muffins, and salad
Doesn't even sound good on Paper
In practice it's even worse
You see you lose your day
Because you will run to the bathroom at least five times during the day
And out brains crap
Big Time
I Tried this "diet"eariler this week
Inadvertently
I took all my calls from the throne
The throne of Bone
I'm pretty sure that's a Magic Card
I'm embarrased that I remember that
Anyway people were all like, "Dude, are you in the bathroom?"
And I'm all like, "Yeah. So?"
The bad news is that I now have to eat a bag of cheese every day
Hey!
Who ELSE do we know that eats bags of cheese
....And candles?
WICK-ed good!
Let's steer the conversation away from my movements for a while
Let's talk about lust
And Love
Basically I've discovered that there are two types of lust
The first type is lust for a stranger
You know, you see a stranger on the street
Or
Someone walks into your, say, coffee shop
Someone you've never seen before
Your heart stops and you feel sick blah blah blah
But what I've noticed is that this particular kind of lust causes your vision to short
With RED circles
It's as if you can actually see the blood in your eyes
No I'm serious
It's like you're about to faint, except that you experience a "redout" instead of a "blackout"
try it
Go find a fucking hot stranger sometime
one that makes your blood boil
See if you see red
It's kind of like being angry except that you wanna have sex with someone
The only way to make it go away is to look at the floor
Or imagine that you are counting the individual hairs on your nuts or something
If you are a girl you can count all the pairs of shoues you own
That was THE ULTIMATE ZING
Anyway, the red circle variety of lust is easily cured
Usually all I have to do is talk to the girl for three sentences
What follows is the arithmetic mean of every conversation I've ever had with a former red-circle lust object
ready?

I like shopping -- Abercrombie Rules and is fun
I saw Dave Mathews at the Wallingford Starbucks yesterday
I just bought a new copy of the Da Vinci Code for $14.99 but I probably won't read it but I will tell people I did

Yep
That's it
Keep in mind that's only an average
but you get the picture
Now I have to thank some people
Thank you bluetrust for the books
And maybe I should thank
LankaKitten too since you guys probably have a joint checking account or at least keep your dollars bill under the same mattress
I don't know
I read "In the Miso Soup" already
It made me racist
Hahahahahahaha
Just kidding
I was already racist
Just kidding again
Jeez you guys
I don't care what race you are as long as you're a nice Christian
Jesus would have been cooler with a rocket launcher
But Imagine if all the rockets he shot smelled like peppermints!
That would be pretty dope, imho
Cardamom smells pretty good too
I'd probably take that over peppermint
So I've been away from SG for a while, previous 2 journals aside
So here are some things I've been enjoying and that you should enjoy so that in the event that you turn out to be a hot girl we'll have something to talk about and then have sex because it's been way too long for ol' cosyne
Anyway if we hit it off, you can be upgraded from red-circle lust to black-circle lust
Which I will explain in a bit
But first let me tell you what books to read because I like forcing my interests on others
With my dick
Which is pretty big
Ask the couch-peer
Haha you can't because she's not on the site anymore
And because talking to her isn't really worth finding out if my dick is actually big or not
You'll just have to trust me on this one
It's like a fire extinguisher
Yeah this one time i even totally sprayed the inside of this girl's cooter with 70 PSI Carbon Dioxide
She was like, "Ouch, that's really cold you creep"
I was like, "Well, what part of my dick is a freaking fire extinguisher
didn't you understand?"
She never called me again, but I'm pretty sure it wasn't because of that
I think it's because she thought I ate spaghetti weird

Oh wait I forgot
I put all my favorite books over on the left
Go look at those

But also read:
Cannery Row
Tsotsi
Lolita
Love in the Time of Cholera

Also if you read Dave Eggers'
A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius and liked it, you are a moron.
Sorry
some opinions are also facts
Like that one
Face

Restless.
Come on.
Do Something.
Anything.
Wake up.
Put your mind to work, you idiot.
Make something.
Anything.
Create.
Come on.
COME ON!