0 days remain
I cant remember how it goes exactly, but in C.S. Lewis The Screwtape Letters, Screwtape says that to Wormwood that one of the best tools a tempter has at his disposal is to remove a mans consciousness from the present as much as possible. By plunging his head into the past, a devil can force a man to dwell on his mistakes, thus making him more likely to repeat them rather than learn from them. But an even greater weapon, says Screwtape, is to lead him away from the present into the future. Granted, a man needs to dream in order that he may grow and flourish, but should he spend too much time focused on what is yet to come, whether promising or looming, he will lose sight of the present. The devils hope is that he will ultimately neglect the present altogether, preventing him from accomplishing anything at all, either out of wistful daydreaming or out of paralyzing fear of that which hasnt even happened.
Is Screwtape on to something? Is it pointless to try to plan so far ahead? Im tempted to say no as long as one keeps sight of the present, then fantasize away. I mean, obviously its retarded to think about that sweet car you want to buy six months down the road, if you cant pay your bills TODAY. Then again, it would be easier to just buy a scooter anyway.
So, Ive been thinking about the future a lot lately. What I ultimately want is to get to the point where I am in complete control of my life; Im tired of answering to people (creditors, mostly so Ive eliminated them from my life completely, hence the 0 days remaining yes I pretty much rule I know thank you very much my dick is huge)
Anyway, rather than adopting a boring ass set of commandments like Honor thy Father and Mother and Dont kill people, Ive decided to codify my own set of laws for me to live by. Youll notice that dumb rules like Dont feed your fat roommate candles didnt make the cut. Oh well. Here they are this oughtta give yalls a pretty good idea of what Ive been up to the last year or so.
1. Aim high in love.
I was gonna save this one for last you know, go out with a big finish but this one is important enough that I want to make sure I touch on all the points while theyre still fresh in my head.
Many of you who know me, know about my dilemma concerning relationships. Specifically I love the chase and nothing else. I love fucking as a concept and truly, I go blind from bloodlust several times daily but actual sex bores me to tears, no matter how good it is. To me, the conquest ends once a girl shows the telltale signs that shes ready to give. Then the chase is over and I move on. At least, thats how it was until I met this one girlbut thats another story for another day.
In any case, what this girl has taught me is that Im just not cut out for casual sex. Ugh. Yeah, Im as disappointed as the rest of you are. But Im pretty sure that is what Im gonna have to do if I want to shed those disgusting post-coital shudders that have seized me following almost every sexual encounter for the past 28 years.
Am I practicing what Im preaching? Well, I havent had sex in six months. I was pretty irritable (read: insane) for a while, but now Im chalking this up to other factors (yeah, yeah, easy to saybut I swear its the truth. Ill explain in a minute, so hang the fuck on). Now I feel pretty good about this choice. And you know something? Often its pretty easy to quell ones lasciviousness simply by talking to a girl for a few minutes and realizing that she cant do multiplication or subscribes to fucking InTouch Magazine or something similarly reprehensible.
2. Never work more than 35 hours a week.
Life is too short to spend any more time than this at work. Go outside. Read a book. Play Resident Evil 4. Spend an hour going down on a loved one.
In July of 2005, I was promoted to assistant store manager. For a while, it was pretty easy. But in September, I got promoted again and things started to really suck. From 10/05 to 4/30/2006, I worked on average fifty-five hours a week. My trademark humor and charm started to wane around Christmastime. By the time March rolled around, I had decimated a few friendships and stretched to the breaking point several others. In one instance, I got into a pointless argument with a barista at the Solstice, and really embarrassed a good friend who I accompanied that day. That was three months ago. Today was the first day since then that she was willing to talk to me. I dont really blame her. I all but destroyed my relationship with the girl I love. With her, its now an attempt to salvage the wreckage, which, though no longer smoldering, is certainly still damaged almost beyond redemption.
Too much work makes you fucking insane. Twenty-five hours a week is ideal, but I think that one can handle up to thirty-five and still remain functional in his or her life. For the past two months, Ive been doing about 32 and things are slowly starting to become normal again.
Please this applies to everyone If you are consistently working more than forty hours a week, its time to make some changes. When you are breathing your last, dont you want to have some memories that arent mired in customer service or spreadsheets?
3. Get in shape.
For the almost the entire month of May, I ran seven miles a day. I can do 55 push-ups in a row. Weights soon.
Im at the point where I need to do this or Im going to get flabby. Im not going to get flabby.
4. Play the piano.
Heck, I used to be pretty good.
5. Read.
Sixty books a year thats my goal. Im only at 25 so far for 2006, but some of those were absolute beasts.
6. Learn a new language each year.
Im relearning all my high school Latin right now. Next up is Icelandic.
7. Travel.
Hmmwhy on earth would I choose to learn Icelandic, anyway?
8. Learn to cook.
still working on this one. Hey, nobodys perfect.
9. Keep your place clean.
I SAID nobodys perfect!
10. Write.
You have no idea what youre in for.
Ill be in touch.
I cant remember how it goes exactly, but in C.S. Lewis The Screwtape Letters, Screwtape says that to Wormwood that one of the best tools a tempter has at his disposal is to remove a mans consciousness from the present as much as possible. By plunging his head into the past, a devil can force a man to dwell on his mistakes, thus making him more likely to repeat them rather than learn from them. But an even greater weapon, says Screwtape, is to lead him away from the present into the future. Granted, a man needs to dream in order that he may grow and flourish, but should he spend too much time focused on what is yet to come, whether promising or looming, he will lose sight of the present. The devils hope is that he will ultimately neglect the present altogether, preventing him from accomplishing anything at all, either out of wistful daydreaming or out of paralyzing fear of that which hasnt even happened.
Is Screwtape on to something? Is it pointless to try to plan so far ahead? Im tempted to say no as long as one keeps sight of the present, then fantasize away. I mean, obviously its retarded to think about that sweet car you want to buy six months down the road, if you cant pay your bills TODAY. Then again, it would be easier to just buy a scooter anyway.
So, Ive been thinking about the future a lot lately. What I ultimately want is to get to the point where I am in complete control of my life; Im tired of answering to people (creditors, mostly so Ive eliminated them from my life completely, hence the 0 days remaining yes I pretty much rule I know thank you very much my dick is huge)
Anyway, rather than adopting a boring ass set of commandments like Honor thy Father and Mother and Dont kill people, Ive decided to codify my own set of laws for me to live by. Youll notice that dumb rules like Dont feed your fat roommate candles didnt make the cut. Oh well. Here they are this oughtta give yalls a pretty good idea of what Ive been up to the last year or so.
1. Aim high in love.
I was gonna save this one for last you know, go out with a big finish but this one is important enough that I want to make sure I touch on all the points while theyre still fresh in my head.
Many of you who know me, know about my dilemma concerning relationships. Specifically I love the chase and nothing else. I love fucking as a concept and truly, I go blind from bloodlust several times daily but actual sex bores me to tears, no matter how good it is. To me, the conquest ends once a girl shows the telltale signs that shes ready to give. Then the chase is over and I move on. At least, thats how it was until I met this one girlbut thats another story for another day.
In any case, what this girl has taught me is that Im just not cut out for casual sex. Ugh. Yeah, Im as disappointed as the rest of you are. But Im pretty sure that is what Im gonna have to do if I want to shed those disgusting post-coital shudders that have seized me following almost every sexual encounter for the past 28 years.
Am I practicing what Im preaching? Well, I havent had sex in six months. I was pretty irritable (read: insane) for a while, but now Im chalking this up to other factors (yeah, yeah, easy to saybut I swear its the truth. Ill explain in a minute, so hang the fuck on). Now I feel pretty good about this choice. And you know something? Often its pretty easy to quell ones lasciviousness simply by talking to a girl for a few minutes and realizing that she cant do multiplication or subscribes to fucking InTouch Magazine or something similarly reprehensible.
2. Never work more than 35 hours a week.
Life is too short to spend any more time than this at work. Go outside. Read a book. Play Resident Evil 4. Spend an hour going down on a loved one.
In July of 2005, I was promoted to assistant store manager. For a while, it was pretty easy. But in September, I got promoted again and things started to really suck. From 10/05 to 4/30/2006, I worked on average fifty-five hours a week. My trademark humor and charm started to wane around Christmastime. By the time March rolled around, I had decimated a few friendships and stretched to the breaking point several others. In one instance, I got into a pointless argument with a barista at the Solstice, and really embarrassed a good friend who I accompanied that day. That was three months ago. Today was the first day since then that she was willing to talk to me. I dont really blame her. I all but destroyed my relationship with the girl I love. With her, its now an attempt to salvage the wreckage, which, though no longer smoldering, is certainly still damaged almost beyond redemption.
Too much work makes you fucking insane. Twenty-five hours a week is ideal, but I think that one can handle up to thirty-five and still remain functional in his or her life. For the past two months, Ive been doing about 32 and things are slowly starting to become normal again.
Please this applies to everyone If you are consistently working more than forty hours a week, its time to make some changes. When you are breathing your last, dont you want to have some memories that arent mired in customer service or spreadsheets?
3. Get in shape.
For the almost the entire month of May, I ran seven miles a day. I can do 55 push-ups in a row. Weights soon.
Im at the point where I need to do this or Im going to get flabby. Im not going to get flabby.
4. Play the piano.
Heck, I used to be pretty good.
5. Read.
Sixty books a year thats my goal. Im only at 25 so far for 2006, but some of those were absolute beasts.
6. Learn a new language each year.
Im relearning all my high school Latin right now. Next up is Icelandic.
7. Travel.
Hmmwhy on earth would I choose to learn Icelandic, anyway?
8. Learn to cook.
still working on this one. Hey, nobodys perfect.
9. Keep your place clean.
I SAID nobodys perfect!
10. Write.
You have no idea what youre in for.
Ill be in touch.
VIEW 11 of 11 COMMENTS
is this what a girl feels like when she shows up to the premiere and discovers someone else wearing her dress?
;-)
go see my move