I have a lot of things on my mind lately and it seems this community is one of the most accepting places to voice unpopular opinions so i may just start making new friends here and stop using other networks as much.
My name is Cosmos, I was raised in a household where racism and religion ran the house. My dad was raised in a small town in coastal mississippi in the 40's and 50's and doesnt much like brown people, my mom is from SoCal and doesnt harbor that at all but is instead a very devout almost fanatical christian. my siblings and I grew up in a school where it was possible to be the only white kid in an entire classroom, noy constantly but it did happen on more than one occasion. it is safe to say that the majority of my friends growing up were at least partialy black, asian, or hispanic. This meant that we eventually started to make my dad more tolerant through attrition, until he began going down the path of senility. the man has reverted to his old ways and regressed even further in some regards. It has gotten so bad that i don't think he would be accepting of me dating a white person with mixed kids at this point.
Some of my friends who apparently don't have a relationship with their parents have suggested i cut ties with them, I love my folks, they were good parents. I am sacrificing my happiness to maintain a relationship with my dad, he doenst have much time left. my dad is obese,diabetic, had COPD and emphysema, congestive heart failure and appears to be developing alzheimers.
My mom on the other hand raised us in a pentecostal evangel church under the banner of the Assemblies of God. I grew up to be a pagan and a member of the lgbt community. I have also been divorced 3 times and have no kids. these things are "failures" on her partr according to the church we were raised in. I have not come out to my family because neither parent will really approve or understand. due to my romatic preferences this is not such a big deal I don't see myself falling in love with a guy. I am hetreromantic but pansexual, to clarify i have not been romantically attracted to a man, i usually just have guy friends with benefits.
I am mascuilne and confident in my identity and myself enough that i don't find a need to really talk about my sexual preferences as an identity, many people never know my sexuality because it does not realy define me. its just a finishing touch to my personality if you will.
I will make another post to finish this later as this has gone much longer than intended.
