Drunk blog courtesy of Cosette.
I'm so tired of letting my boyfriends walk all over me. I mean...don't get me wrong. I don't let them get away with cheating or beating me or anything like that, but when they do something that bothers me I don't say anything. To say something means tio open up and tell them how I feel which means I am getting too clse to them. We'll break up anyway so what is the point of trying to get close?? I feel like one of those girls that is like "Oh yeah he treats me like shit, but I'll still stay with him" and I hate it. I hate myself forit. The confusng part is he did a complete 180 and doesn't treat me that way anymore, but he used to and now it's starting to come out.
Tonight I texted the boy drunk of course saying something related to "I can't wait to see you and I miss you, but I know when you come back you'll pay attention to every other girl and I will be non existant." His retort was "Whatever I don't appreciate you saying that" I can't remember what I said word for word, but it was something like "Well, I don't like being ignored. I don't like feeling like I'm never good enough and do you have any idea what it's like to be completely ignored by someone you care about?! To try so ahrd and make them happy only to have them pay attention to everyone else but you..." That is how I feel and it's been tearing me up for so long and my self esteem went to shit...my god what the fuck is wrong with me. I am being completely emo and I hate it. I hate that this is getting me upset.
I'm an ass.
***UPDATE****
...Whoa...
Sorry about the really strange blog guys. I'm not sure why I got so angry last night because I was in a really good mood and I don't remember anything happening. I'm a little embarrassed. Again..my apologies
I'm so tired of letting my boyfriends walk all over me. I mean...don't get me wrong. I don't let them get away with cheating or beating me or anything like that, but when they do something that bothers me I don't say anything. To say something means tio open up and tell them how I feel which means I am getting too clse to them. We'll break up anyway so what is the point of trying to get close?? I feel like one of those girls that is like "Oh yeah he treats me like shit, but I'll still stay with him" and I hate it. I hate myself forit. The confusng part is he did a complete 180 and doesn't treat me that way anymore, but he used to and now it's starting to come out.
Tonight I texted the boy drunk of course saying something related to "I can't wait to see you and I miss you, but I know when you come back you'll pay attention to every other girl and I will be non existant." His retort was "Whatever I don't appreciate you saying that" I can't remember what I said word for word, but it was something like "Well, I don't like being ignored. I don't like feeling like I'm never good enough and do you have any idea what it's like to be completely ignored by someone you care about?! To try so ahrd and make them happy only to have them pay attention to everyone else but you..." That is how I feel and it's been tearing me up for so long and my self esteem went to shit...my god what the fuck is wrong with me. I am being completely emo and I hate it. I hate that this is getting me upset.
I'm an ass.
***UPDATE****
...Whoa...
Sorry about the really strange blog guys. I'm not sure why I got so angry last night because I was in a really good mood and I don't remember anything happening. I'm a little embarrassed. Again..my apologies
VIEW 10 of 10 COMMENTS
spacelola:
That kind of stuff happens when we drink.. Our actual feelings tend to come out.... 
renna:
I hope everything is okay, lady!