i'm home. reluctantly. i'm too deep in thought about resolutions to my latest in ironic twists of fate to write much now, but i'll make these few comments:
as deeply as i hate santa rosa, i did not want to leave there this visit.
why, why, why does the universe so enjoy slipping us slap-in-the-face teasers about what could have been after we make concrete decisions about our life's direction? why not just leave us in ignorance thinking we're so wise instead of doubting ourselves and having to rethink paths once we're well down the road of one already?
in other words, the #1crush from half my life ago amazingly exceeded, in every way, every starry-eyed school girl memory i ever could've had about his absolute perfection as a person. this sucks.
as deeply as i hate santa rosa, i did not want to leave there this visit.
why, why, why does the universe so enjoy slipping us slap-in-the-face teasers about what could have been after we make concrete decisions about our life's direction? why not just leave us in ignorance thinking we're so wise instead of doubting ourselves and having to rethink paths once we're well down the road of one already?
in other words, the #1crush from half my life ago amazingly exceeded, in every way, every starry-eyed school girl memory i ever could've had about his absolute perfection as a person. this sucks.
I try my best to live my life without regrets. And for the most part, I think I do a good job of that. But if ever I gave in, even just once, I think the regret I'd have and the thing I wish I could go back and change would be my #1 crush.
Look at it this way, though. At least you've had the opportunity to revisit that, and hopefully along with what you're feeling at this moment there are some positive things in there too. I'm a bit envious, but mostly I'm glad you had that chance. Take care, don't feel so blue...
love and murder,