corporatespy

I had profound shit to say I think, then I took a shower and washed it all way...

I met a new girl(yeah yeah manwhore blah blah) and she is absolutely perfect for me I think... But she's so compatible with me that I'm doing what I always do. I do the whole "I don't want to lose having someone so cool as a friend, so I am not going to make a move on her." bullshit.

Now in my mind I know I need to just DATE someone who is so compatable with me that I get along with so well, but I guess what goes through my head is, "What if it doesn't work out?". Or hell... possibly worse yet, what if it does? What if I got everything I claimed to be looking for in a woman, and I suddenly had no excuses for my bullshit? No reason to bitch and nitpick? For some reason... that kinda frightens me.

I don't think it's exactly a fear of commitment, it's just a fear of things feeling right. I'm always nervous when things are too easy or too perfect, I can't feel comfortable. Because the biggest disappointments and surprises come when you're least prepared for them. Fucked up child hood causing issues for the win. Oh well... I can analyze my own issues so that's the first step eeh? But the next step is the fucking hardest one, doing something about it once you realize what the problem is.

*sigh* I dunno, any second or third opinions?


p.s. To those concerned... I know I planned this week's Saturday event for everyone, and I feel like a douche for bailing on my own party after planning it... but I think I really just want.need to go sit and stare blankly at a bonfire, sip some hot tea and clear my head. You guys are welcome to come have a quiet Saturday with me instead and we can move the drinking to another weekend if ya like though. Either way...