corporatespy

I started off the day getting stuff done. I made a real effort... no, seriously. I woke up, made myself some tea, and scones. Went to the Gym, came home and started cleaning/organizing things... and it degraded from there. I started going through my CDs, and playing them as I was cleaning, and then just decided to lay in the middle of my floor surrounded by half-organized piles of stuffs; zoning out and condomplating. Everyone needs those days though, I think.

Drive by Incubus is such an excellent song, but it kinda makes me sad. I've always fought against being told what to do, what other people want and expect of me when its unreasonable. It has rarely been easy, but it has made me a stronger person. That which does not kill me makes me stronger and all that.

The problem is, sometimes it feels like everyone else does what is easy, so I can't relate to them. I feel like I'm a stronger person so that I can stand up for those that need help and direction... but they rarely realize it. They are meerly content to exist. I can't begrudge anyone happieness. That SHOULD be a primary motivation in everyone's life.

Its seems a bit like self-imposed exile, I guess. Its not like I don't have a ton of friends or I'm ever really lonely, I just wish I could identify with people on a deeper level. Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't trade it for anything. It allows me a lot of peace of mind in day to day life... I guess I just wish sometimes I could have both.

"Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there,
with open arms and open eyes, yeah.
Whatever tomorow brings, I'll be there, I'll be there..."

Open arms, but open eyes! EXACTLY. Be the Cynnical Optamist. Hope for the best, but prepared for the worst. Anyway... way more than enough rambling, back to zoning out and staring at the ceiling... take care all!