But keeping within the "fright" theme, let me tell you of some very irrational fears I had as a child....
1) Those two freaky aliens on Sesame Street that go "YOP YOP-YOP-YOP YAWWWWWP! YIP YIP YAWWWWP"
2) One time, when I was a small child in Saudi Arabia, I was going into my parents' room (no, it's not what you're thinking -- perverts!) and was frozen in my tracks by the somehow terrifying sight of turtleneck sweaters draped over a chair to dry. For some reason, the long necks looked like something could potentially be living in there -- something like an alien. I mean, just look at it -- it's pure evil!
3) I'm sure this will come as a shock to you, but I was always being exposed to movies that maybe aren't great for, ya know, a six year-old to see, like... Alien!
I mean, does that look like soothing bedtime viewing to you? Yeah, I know some of you like ShellyMC probably watched horror flicks as they nursed on their mommy's milk, but I have always been squeamish when it comes to terror and gore.
4) And this is the one I'm particularly embarrassed about: when I was about eight or nine, Photon Laser Tag was really popular in Houston, and kids were always having birthday/pizza parties there. A family friend took me there one time, and as we entered, I saw two employees dressed in futuristic space fleet jumpsuits standing to either side of the door in some kind of military stance -- "at attention" I believe it's called, and there was that goofy black light glowing everywhere, and I even think there was a smoke machine issuing forth... like, smoke. Oh, and I think some really synth-y, Jean Michel Jarre-type music was playing for added effect. Well, there was something about this melange of futuristic stimuli that fucking freaked me out! I think I made an "I'm about to cry" face and softly said, "I don't wanna go in there -- I wanna go home!" And -- bloop! -- we turned right around, got back in the car, and went somewhere I wouldn't be bombarded by irrational fears.
See, there's kind of a psychological explanation for my pervasive fear of futuristic things. I had a very vivid dream as a child in which a freaky race of futuristic pig-men aliens had taken over and were in our house. Needless to say it scared the fuck outta me. Even as an adult, I used to have interminably long, detailed, repetitive dreams that were set in the future. We don't really know what will happen in the future, which means it's somewhat a symbol of uncertainty, and uncertainty is kind of scary to me. I like to feel secure, confident, and safe. Good surprises are... good, and bad surprises are... not good. So maybe I have futuristic dream sequences when I'm feeling apprehension about something.
What are some irrational fears you had as a child, or what are some you still have?
Because I know some people just don't want to read about the tragedies of our daily existence, I put the following article about the recent school shooting in Colorado as a spoiler. Now you don't have to read it unless you want to.
VIEW 20 of 20 COMMENTS
If we're doomed thanks to a supervolcano, I'm taking a full week off work with a fake sickness, consequences be damned!
Do you recall how Jerry's cousin pulled off one of Tom's whiskers? That's GOTTA hurt.