Since nobody reads this anymore I feel that I can vent here.
Since my unexpected (maybe not so much in hindsight) and abrupt end to my 5 year relationship and engagement to Brandy I have abandoned most of my friendships that I made in the last 7 years. Most of them are due to me just not staying in contact with people. There is one friendship that I have lost that bothers me the most. This person was like my brother, my partner in crime. When I was at my absolute lowest, near suicide, she took me in. The way that I behaved towards her was disgraceful. In my fucked up state I managed to dismiss the one person who meant so much to me. Now that I'm starting to finally regain some sort of normal balance in my life I regret this very much ... but know that it is not something that I can fix. I just hope that I didn't do to much damage to those around me in my fucked up state. They say live and learn, but I hope that I never find myself in a similar position ever again. I am much weaker than I thought, and those closest to me suffered.
Since my unexpected (maybe not so much in hindsight) and abrupt end to my 5 year relationship and engagement to Brandy I have abandoned most of my friendships that I made in the last 7 years. Most of them are due to me just not staying in contact with people. There is one friendship that I have lost that bothers me the most. This person was like my brother, my partner in crime. When I was at my absolute lowest, near suicide, she took me in. The way that I behaved towards her was disgraceful. In my fucked up state I managed to dismiss the one person who meant so much to me. Now that I'm starting to finally regain some sort of normal balance in my life I regret this very much ... but know that it is not something that I can fix. I just hope that I didn't do to much damage to those around me in my fucked up state. They say live and learn, but I hope that I never find myself in a similar position ever again. I am much weaker than I thought, and those closest to me suffered.