coquille

nobody is you
(october 3, 2005)

i'm crying and i don't know why
weeping over who i am and who i was
and who you are and why you are
i'm crying and i know it's because
i'm watching all the reruns of
my life that i've only half-lived
and my love that's always better spoken than i am.
words that die on the tongue half-said
sliding past the eyes, only ever half-read
by people who didn't deserve to see them anyway
and we all know that when i say people
what i really mean is person
but that doesn't matter now because she never did
matter, that is.
but you are all the pieces to my puzzle
and when i wiggle you the right way
you fit perfectly and we snuggle up to
one another like we're drinking from the lips of god
(but we don't believe in him)
(at least not most of the time)
cool clear water like bells
like the touch of a lover
and i used to think that was so cliche
nobody can know my body like
the way a dream lover could be said to do
nobody? nobody is you

souls and naked shows
(august 18, 2005)

my sometimes sighs
they sound like lies
goodbyes and such highs
and lows and bare toes
peeking through the windows
at our souls and naked shows
drifting through the night
flight of senses lifted by
wings of feather kisses skyward
hands palms touch skin and again
and again
lazy drifting ponder linger
louder now darling light
glows through the windows
at our souls and naked shows
softer on your thighs
brushing through the lies
of reality and time
of five and dime
of rush hour traffic screaming
walking too fast and not seeing
what doesnt need to be found
unfound
and not lost
because it was there all along

closure
(august 11, 2005)

so devious so serious
it was all in my head
the way i was lead
to believe the things you said
to me when i was dead
inside, cut up inside
cut up outside
my shattered ego seeping
yeah you heard me weeping
and you didn't even care
fuck you
yeah i said fuck you
yeah now that i dare
to stand up for myself, this
is your plan to make me
feel so selfish
"oh how could you
do this to me"
save it, bitch
yeah i called you a bitch
and then you switch
your attack, you came right back
with some static
erratic
compulsive liar
that's you, not me
don't think, just breathe
don't speak, just leave
clench my fists but i'm glad
you did no real harm
all that's left of you
is my fractured ego
and these stupid lines on my arm