...more reviews. Nothing to see here.
*******
DONNIE DARKO 2001
A sleeper hit that deservedly found an audience on video, Donnie Darko is a complicated yet irresistibly magnetic genre movie that combines elements of horror, sci-fi and good ol fashion family drama. Jake Gyllenhall impresses in the title role as a very troubled teen whose visions of a demonic man-sized bunny rabbit (named Frank) elude to the end of the world and cast Donnie as a reluctant player in the cosmic equation. Some of the plot points are obscured by open-to-interpretation mysticism, but essentially this a masterful piece of work made more amazing by the fact that it was written and directed by a 26-year old. In just a handful of scenes Mary McDonnel as the Darko matriarch manages to contribute to one of the sweetest and most sincere cinematic portrayals of family dysfunction in recent history. Real-life sister Maggie Gyllenhall plays Donnies big sister. Executive producer, Drew Barrymore is a miscast weak link as a sympathetic English teacher. As a period piece DD captures 1988 so accurately that you forgive soundtrack tunes that dont match-up chronologically. Scary, soulful, exhilarating and guided by existential theory, Donnie Darko is a near-perfect movie that operates as a psychedelic Catcher in the Rye in an age of clinical depression and jaded cynicism. ***1/2
NOSFERATU 1922
The first filmed adaption of Bram Stokers Dracula is arguably the best. Though not a direct adaption in name, due to some stubbornness on the part of Stokers widow and estate, German silent-era maverick F.W. Murnau changed the names and locations and added his German expressionistic aesthetic. Still creepy to look at, it will likely bore the life out of those whose only experience with silent films involves Charlie Chaplin. Max Schreck embodies all that is vulgar and horrific about the vampire mythos playing Count Drac- er...Orlok, with his talon-fingers, pointy ears, misshapen skull and wild eyes hes a long way from the Hungarian gentlemen we associate with Dracula. Rewarding for film school students, vampire fanatics and silent film aficionados but a tremendous bore for say, teen girls at a slumber party. Regardless, its a classic and with good reason Nosferatu terrified audiences during its initial release in a way that modern movies cant. No one had ever seen anything like it at the time. Watch for a reverse photography carriage ride to the Counts castle for some very interesting early special effects that manage to capture the true foreboding that that scene deserves and Universals Dracula squandered. Shadow of the Vampire, starring John Malchovich as Murnau fictionalizes the making of Nosferatu to mixed affect. I was bummed to learn that nearly the entire plot was bogus. ***
FIEND OF DOPE ISLAND, THE 1961
Hard stuff for 1961, even in the realm of exploitation but leave it to producer David Friedman. A tropical Caribbean island serves as a drug and gun-running port for a blustery bull-headed ass (or fiend as it were) who rules his slave labor with an iron fist and a leather bullwhip. Theres dissent among the rank and file smugglers though and when Yugoslavian bombshell Tania Velia shows up as entertainment (complete with surprising nudity!), all hell breaks loose. Legitimately suspenseful and deliciously over-the-top, Fiend has everything a guy like me could want- pot, guns, scantily clad dancing girls, jungle locals and lots of hand-to-hand combat. Fairly dark but a fun watch and a happy ending saves the day. ***
NIGHT OF THE GHOULS (aka Revenge of the Dead) 1960
Another Ed Wood mess-terpiece, Ghouls serves as a psuedo-sequel (we think) to Bride of the Monster, but its hard to ever tell where Wood was coming from. The bookend narration by Criswell and the reliable appearances of Kelton the Kop and an under-used Tor Johnson help to contextualize the film in the wacky wacky Wood world. It can be good for a laugh, what with all the incoherent editing and plotting, but bad is bad and this is the one film that made me actually think that Wood WAS capable of creating something better than what his oeuvre suggests Ghouls, in particular, just feels lazy. Poor aging-B-western star, Kenne Duncan looks thoroughly confused in his turban as the malevolent Dr. Acula (get it?!) the huckster/psychic/villain at the center of the impossible-to-comprehend plot. One waaaaay-out seance scene will either leave you scratching your head or like me a bit unnerved. The Rhino video release Ive seen opens and closes with narration from Elvira, Mistress of the Dark whose tired-ass shtick only makes things worse. For Angora-philes only. *1/2
JAILBAIT 1954
Easily the most competent movie Wood ever directed, complete with a third-act plot twist that damn near works. Most genre fans will be disappointed to learn that the title refers to guns rather than girls, but I was able to work past that quick enough. Steve Reeves of Hercules fame makes a tepid debut here, but sub-par screen charisma is kind of expected in a Wood film. The perfect case-in-point is long-time Wood girlfriend, Dolores Fuller, whom consistently turns in some of the least convincing line deliveries known to man. Jail Bait, for all its competence, is still pretty dull, especially by Wood standards. This was supposed to be Woods crime epic but the Violent Years (of which hes the screenwriter) is far more torrid, salacious and entertaining. Rhinos video release pointlessly replaces some stock footage of burlesque black-face buffoonery with stock footage of a burlesque bump-n-grind stripper, and is slapped with the label: Directors Cut. Quite a feat when you consider Wood died 20 years before this eye-rollingly PC edit. **
WISCONSIN DEATH TRIP 1997
This pseudo-documentary integrates real historic photographs and freshly filmed dialogue-free vignettes to tell the story of the Black Hills region of Wisconsin between 1890 and 1900. During this time unemployment, devastating winters and barren land seemed to slowly turn this seemingly family-friendly settlement into a hotbed of bizarre behavior. Murder, love-lorn suicide, child rebellion, an outbreak of diphtheria and tales of witches and ghosts seemed to pollute the isolated community. Actual newspaper narrative from the time is read by narrator Ian Holm to comment on the visuals. It kind of works but smacks of film school mechanics. Shot almost entirely in black and white, the movie still lacks a feel of authenticity due in part to the pantomimed performances of the extras involved. The actual photographs from the period are far more effective, especially when you are looking at an antiquated photo image of a pretty little girl as the narration comments on the horrible things she had done. The material is endlessly fascinating but warrants a better presentation than the by-numbers treatment it receives. It reminded me a little of the Blair Witch Curse mockumentary, which somehow manages to be far more engaging than this. Still worth a look for those interested in real American gothic. A book of the same name came first. **
CLUB DREAD 2004
Comedy troupe, Broken Lizards follow up to their stoner cult hit Super Troopers is an unfortunate step back. The plot, a bunch of idiots running an island hedonist singles club and terrorized by a slasher among them is wrought with comic potential but I barely laughed at all. Bill Paxton almost manages to save the film with his hippy-dippy take on a Jimmy Buffet-like wash-out who owns the island retreat. About halfway through the movie though you realize that its written as an affectionate homage, which saps the venom of the plots singular working joke. Tacky, unlikable and bereft of any style, Dread may prove Broken Lizard to be a very lucky one-trick pony. *
FRIDAY THE 13TH: PART 3
Jason finally puts on the hockey mask for Part 3 which was originally released in 3D during Americas very short lived re-interest in it in the early 80s. At the time of this writing, no one has bothered to release any of these movies (Jaws 3, Amityville 3 or Spacehunter, to name a few) in 3D on video or DVD. A shame really, especially in this case where it could significantly up the appeal of one of my favorite installments in this otherwise over-appreciated series. The plot is what youd expect, but the killings are a bit more jarring and the plot, slightly more coherent (future installments would blow that, however). Tracey Savage, who gets a nice nudie shower scene in before her inevitable demise, was my local Dayton weather girl growing up after making this a fact that gave me a considerable charge at the time. **
FRIDAY THE 13THTHE FINAL CHAPTER
The series commercial stride begins here and ends with Part VI. Noteworthy for performances by Crispin Glover and Corey Feldman, the Final Chapter is no such thing. Kids were being brought into accompany the heros of a lot of movies around this time but Im not sure why. Here, its Feldman, who steals the movie in its last five minutes in the anti-climactic twist ending that sets us up for another sequel despite the label slapped on this one. Teens take showers, watch movies, run, get killed. As with most of the Jason series the only scares come from score crescendos used to startle the beejeezus out of you, usually during a fake-out where nothing is really happening. I fucking hate that. **
FRIDAY THE 13TH PART VII: THE NEW BLOOD
So stale was the series at this point that they begin to crib ideas from the Nightmare on Elm Street series. Theres a psychic girl here...or telekinetic...or something. Her gift gives her more inexplicable powers than Supermans in Superman III. Of course theres a showdown this time electricity is employed to kill Jason, who is already a zombie. What?! If she can telekinetically direct a live power line to light Jason up, why cant she telekinetically chop him to bits with a drawer full of steak knives. Even though its the best written of the series up to this point, its still lame crap by any other standards. Made me really want to curl up with a nice copy of Carrie and Nightmare on Elm Street 3: The Dream Warriors. *
FRIDAY THE 13TH PART VIII: JASON TAKES MANHATTAN
Worthless in just about every regard, its amazing that this inexcusable piece of shit got a major studio release. Theres not much to say besides, most of it takes place on a cruise liner traveling from Crystal Lake to Manhattan (?!). Theres very little time spent in the big city, but thats among the least of this boring slasher films offenses. *
JASON GOES TO HELL: THE FINAL FRIDAY 1993
This entry, in a series that probably should have ended halfway through part one, gets big points for at least trying something completely different. It sports a twist opening for a change and attempts to create a brand new Jason Voorhees mythology that only acknowledges bits and pieces of the stories that came before it. Like in the Hidden, Jason here is a parasitic manifestation of pure evil that can jump from host body to host body. Okay. Fair nuff. But theres also the inexplicable introduction of a special Jason-killing knife that gets no context. Pretty silly stuff but the gore is over-the-top and big fun. Staple feature, gratuitous nudity, is acknowledged and appreciated too. More fun than any of the entries that came before it, but too little too late for fans who stayed away in droves. **
JASON X
Jason in space. It was only a matter of time I suppose. After nearly a decade off, Jason returns in this inventive little lark that one-ups Jason Goes to Hell by sending him to a cryogenic space lab where a convoluted set of circumstances wake him from cryo-rest and send him on a celestial rampage. Adopting its own style and playing up the sci-fi elements were wise moves for a series pushed so far beyond its potential. There are some fun scares and lots of great effects. Id guess that this probably sported the biggest budget of the entire series and it shows. Nicely paced and intentionally tongue-in-cheek, this is a Jason movie I can actually recommend without reservation but only to genre fans. Anyone looking for a seriously scary movie would find Jason X ridiculous. But considering the series that it tails, its a fucking masterpiece. Watch for a virtual reality journey to Camp Crystal Lake meant to confuse poor Jason. Its the centerpiece of this late night party movie and good for some laughs. **
*******
DONNIE DARKO 2001
A sleeper hit that deservedly found an audience on video, Donnie Darko is a complicated yet irresistibly magnetic genre movie that combines elements of horror, sci-fi and good ol fashion family drama. Jake Gyllenhall impresses in the title role as a very troubled teen whose visions of a demonic man-sized bunny rabbit (named Frank) elude to the end of the world and cast Donnie as a reluctant player in the cosmic equation. Some of the plot points are obscured by open-to-interpretation mysticism, but essentially this a masterful piece of work made more amazing by the fact that it was written and directed by a 26-year old. In just a handful of scenes Mary McDonnel as the Darko matriarch manages to contribute to one of the sweetest and most sincere cinematic portrayals of family dysfunction in recent history. Real-life sister Maggie Gyllenhall plays Donnies big sister. Executive producer, Drew Barrymore is a miscast weak link as a sympathetic English teacher. As a period piece DD captures 1988 so accurately that you forgive soundtrack tunes that dont match-up chronologically. Scary, soulful, exhilarating and guided by existential theory, Donnie Darko is a near-perfect movie that operates as a psychedelic Catcher in the Rye in an age of clinical depression and jaded cynicism. ***1/2
NOSFERATU 1922
The first filmed adaption of Bram Stokers Dracula is arguably the best. Though not a direct adaption in name, due to some stubbornness on the part of Stokers widow and estate, German silent-era maverick F.W. Murnau changed the names and locations and added his German expressionistic aesthetic. Still creepy to look at, it will likely bore the life out of those whose only experience with silent films involves Charlie Chaplin. Max Schreck embodies all that is vulgar and horrific about the vampire mythos playing Count Drac- er...Orlok, with his talon-fingers, pointy ears, misshapen skull and wild eyes hes a long way from the Hungarian gentlemen we associate with Dracula. Rewarding for film school students, vampire fanatics and silent film aficionados but a tremendous bore for say, teen girls at a slumber party. Regardless, its a classic and with good reason Nosferatu terrified audiences during its initial release in a way that modern movies cant. No one had ever seen anything like it at the time. Watch for a reverse photography carriage ride to the Counts castle for some very interesting early special effects that manage to capture the true foreboding that that scene deserves and Universals Dracula squandered. Shadow of the Vampire, starring John Malchovich as Murnau fictionalizes the making of Nosferatu to mixed affect. I was bummed to learn that nearly the entire plot was bogus. ***
FIEND OF DOPE ISLAND, THE 1961
Hard stuff for 1961, even in the realm of exploitation but leave it to producer David Friedman. A tropical Caribbean island serves as a drug and gun-running port for a blustery bull-headed ass (or fiend as it were) who rules his slave labor with an iron fist and a leather bullwhip. Theres dissent among the rank and file smugglers though and when Yugoslavian bombshell Tania Velia shows up as entertainment (complete with surprising nudity!), all hell breaks loose. Legitimately suspenseful and deliciously over-the-top, Fiend has everything a guy like me could want- pot, guns, scantily clad dancing girls, jungle locals and lots of hand-to-hand combat. Fairly dark but a fun watch and a happy ending saves the day. ***
NIGHT OF THE GHOULS (aka Revenge of the Dead) 1960
Another Ed Wood mess-terpiece, Ghouls serves as a psuedo-sequel (we think) to Bride of the Monster, but its hard to ever tell where Wood was coming from. The bookend narration by Criswell and the reliable appearances of Kelton the Kop and an under-used Tor Johnson help to contextualize the film in the wacky wacky Wood world. It can be good for a laugh, what with all the incoherent editing and plotting, but bad is bad and this is the one film that made me actually think that Wood WAS capable of creating something better than what his oeuvre suggests Ghouls, in particular, just feels lazy. Poor aging-B-western star, Kenne Duncan looks thoroughly confused in his turban as the malevolent Dr. Acula (get it?!) the huckster/psychic/villain at the center of the impossible-to-comprehend plot. One waaaaay-out seance scene will either leave you scratching your head or like me a bit unnerved. The Rhino video release Ive seen opens and closes with narration from Elvira, Mistress of the Dark whose tired-ass shtick only makes things worse. For Angora-philes only. *1/2
JAILBAIT 1954
Easily the most competent movie Wood ever directed, complete with a third-act plot twist that damn near works. Most genre fans will be disappointed to learn that the title refers to guns rather than girls, but I was able to work past that quick enough. Steve Reeves of Hercules fame makes a tepid debut here, but sub-par screen charisma is kind of expected in a Wood film. The perfect case-in-point is long-time Wood girlfriend, Dolores Fuller, whom consistently turns in some of the least convincing line deliveries known to man. Jail Bait, for all its competence, is still pretty dull, especially by Wood standards. This was supposed to be Woods crime epic but the Violent Years (of which hes the screenwriter) is far more torrid, salacious and entertaining. Rhinos video release pointlessly replaces some stock footage of burlesque black-face buffoonery with stock footage of a burlesque bump-n-grind stripper, and is slapped with the label: Directors Cut. Quite a feat when you consider Wood died 20 years before this eye-rollingly PC edit. **
WISCONSIN DEATH TRIP 1997
This pseudo-documentary integrates real historic photographs and freshly filmed dialogue-free vignettes to tell the story of the Black Hills region of Wisconsin between 1890 and 1900. During this time unemployment, devastating winters and barren land seemed to slowly turn this seemingly family-friendly settlement into a hotbed of bizarre behavior. Murder, love-lorn suicide, child rebellion, an outbreak of diphtheria and tales of witches and ghosts seemed to pollute the isolated community. Actual newspaper narrative from the time is read by narrator Ian Holm to comment on the visuals. It kind of works but smacks of film school mechanics. Shot almost entirely in black and white, the movie still lacks a feel of authenticity due in part to the pantomimed performances of the extras involved. The actual photographs from the period are far more effective, especially when you are looking at an antiquated photo image of a pretty little girl as the narration comments on the horrible things she had done. The material is endlessly fascinating but warrants a better presentation than the by-numbers treatment it receives. It reminded me a little of the Blair Witch Curse mockumentary, which somehow manages to be far more engaging than this. Still worth a look for those interested in real American gothic. A book of the same name came first. **
CLUB DREAD 2004
Comedy troupe, Broken Lizards follow up to their stoner cult hit Super Troopers is an unfortunate step back. The plot, a bunch of idiots running an island hedonist singles club and terrorized by a slasher among them is wrought with comic potential but I barely laughed at all. Bill Paxton almost manages to save the film with his hippy-dippy take on a Jimmy Buffet-like wash-out who owns the island retreat. About halfway through the movie though you realize that its written as an affectionate homage, which saps the venom of the plots singular working joke. Tacky, unlikable and bereft of any style, Dread may prove Broken Lizard to be a very lucky one-trick pony. *
FRIDAY THE 13TH: PART 3
Jason finally puts on the hockey mask for Part 3 which was originally released in 3D during Americas very short lived re-interest in it in the early 80s. At the time of this writing, no one has bothered to release any of these movies (Jaws 3, Amityville 3 or Spacehunter, to name a few) in 3D on video or DVD. A shame really, especially in this case where it could significantly up the appeal of one of my favorite installments in this otherwise over-appreciated series. The plot is what youd expect, but the killings are a bit more jarring and the plot, slightly more coherent (future installments would blow that, however). Tracey Savage, who gets a nice nudie shower scene in before her inevitable demise, was my local Dayton weather girl growing up after making this a fact that gave me a considerable charge at the time. **
FRIDAY THE 13THTHE FINAL CHAPTER
The series commercial stride begins here and ends with Part VI. Noteworthy for performances by Crispin Glover and Corey Feldman, the Final Chapter is no such thing. Kids were being brought into accompany the heros of a lot of movies around this time but Im not sure why. Here, its Feldman, who steals the movie in its last five minutes in the anti-climactic twist ending that sets us up for another sequel despite the label slapped on this one. Teens take showers, watch movies, run, get killed. As with most of the Jason series the only scares come from score crescendos used to startle the beejeezus out of you, usually during a fake-out where nothing is really happening. I fucking hate that. **
FRIDAY THE 13TH PART VII: THE NEW BLOOD
So stale was the series at this point that they begin to crib ideas from the Nightmare on Elm Street series. Theres a psychic girl here...or telekinetic...or something. Her gift gives her more inexplicable powers than Supermans in Superman III. Of course theres a showdown this time electricity is employed to kill Jason, who is already a zombie. What?! If she can telekinetically direct a live power line to light Jason up, why cant she telekinetically chop him to bits with a drawer full of steak knives. Even though its the best written of the series up to this point, its still lame crap by any other standards. Made me really want to curl up with a nice copy of Carrie and Nightmare on Elm Street 3: The Dream Warriors. *
FRIDAY THE 13TH PART VIII: JASON TAKES MANHATTAN
Worthless in just about every regard, its amazing that this inexcusable piece of shit got a major studio release. Theres not much to say besides, most of it takes place on a cruise liner traveling from Crystal Lake to Manhattan (?!). Theres very little time spent in the big city, but thats among the least of this boring slasher films offenses. *
JASON GOES TO HELL: THE FINAL FRIDAY 1993
This entry, in a series that probably should have ended halfway through part one, gets big points for at least trying something completely different. It sports a twist opening for a change and attempts to create a brand new Jason Voorhees mythology that only acknowledges bits and pieces of the stories that came before it. Like in the Hidden, Jason here is a parasitic manifestation of pure evil that can jump from host body to host body. Okay. Fair nuff. But theres also the inexplicable introduction of a special Jason-killing knife that gets no context. Pretty silly stuff but the gore is over-the-top and big fun. Staple feature, gratuitous nudity, is acknowledged and appreciated too. More fun than any of the entries that came before it, but too little too late for fans who stayed away in droves. **
JASON X
Jason in space. It was only a matter of time I suppose. After nearly a decade off, Jason returns in this inventive little lark that one-ups Jason Goes to Hell by sending him to a cryogenic space lab where a convoluted set of circumstances wake him from cryo-rest and send him on a celestial rampage. Adopting its own style and playing up the sci-fi elements were wise moves for a series pushed so far beyond its potential. There are some fun scares and lots of great effects. Id guess that this probably sported the biggest budget of the entire series and it shows. Nicely paced and intentionally tongue-in-cheek, this is a Jason movie I can actually recommend without reservation but only to genre fans. Anyone looking for a seriously scary movie would find Jason X ridiculous. But considering the series that it tails, its a fucking masterpiece. Watch for a virtual reality journey to Camp Crystal Lake meant to confuse poor Jason. Its the centerpiece of this late night party movie and good for some laughs. **