copafeelia

This has been the least boring week in recent memory. It was the kind of week that almosts convinces me that God exists because there HAS to be some higher power fucking with me.

DAWN OF THE X
On Monday I'm greeted at work with an email from Beth - an exgirlfriend from OU whom I hadn't spoke to in 6 years. She was googling everyone she's ever fucked. That's so sweet. She stumbled upon some of my stupid articles from our stupid magazines. She sure was hot. She's married now but damned if we didn't flirt all week long capped by a 2 hour phonecall. That we'd had sex was mentioned several times. Now I'm not saying this means anything. It doesn't. But it messes with your head. She was one of those girls that I just couldn't believe liked me, let alone wanted to fuck me. Those are the best. I've been lucky with that.

BUT THEN- Tuesday night I get a phone call from Erin who'd been trying to call all Monday night. We talked for over an hour and it was really good hearing about her life now. She sounds happy but tired. Now she's not an exgirlfriend, but we made out a coupla' times and I'd have killed men for the chance to be her boyfriend. But alas- the intense sincerity of our friendship eclipses any realistic romantic ideas. But then I start to wonder - what is making people I haven't spoke to in awhile, decide to contact me? Was I on TV Sunday night? Was there a 60 Minutes segment about me?

BUT THEN- It doesn't end there. A brief interruption in the parade of beautiful women of my past. When I'm DJing Tuesday at Duck Island I decide to give Leslie a call. We'd only had a few passing moments out over the last several months. I leave her a voicemail and lo and behold, an hour later she shows up. She has a boyfriend. Only recently has she informed me that they have an "open" relationship. Hmm. What's that mean for me? I never got the vibe that she dug me too much - yet, I'd caught her checking to see if I was watching her dancing. It happens all the time at Beachland shows. I can't remember exactly when I knew it was on - but she drives me home. DeAnne bailed early so I needed a ride. I'm a little drunk - did I mention that? Only later do I realize that she is too. It's 2:30, I invite her in for a smokable nightcap. She agrees. We get high. We make out. We move to my room. She starts taking her clothes off without any prompting from me. She's a moaner. I'm not sure how I feel about that. Things are moving VERY fast but I'm not the one driving at this point. She got tired of waiting for me to kiss her so she started all this on her own. She's suddenly yanking her panties off. I don't know what to do so I go down on her and evidently rock her world unless she's a damn liar. We almost have sex but I put the breaks on. It's already like four in the fucking a.m. and I have to be at work in a few short hours. So she sleeps over and that's that. I don't know how I feel about any of this. I think she might like me more than I want her to like me but I can't tell. I wasn't worried until she ended an email with: i hope i'm not coming on too strong. I hadn't thought so until right then.

BUT THEN- The next night Amanda comes over and we DO have sex. And it's really good. It was sweet too. We're so much sweeter with one another when we're not a legitimate couple.

I'm like having sensory overload at this point. Who am I? What is happening?

BUT THEN- Me and the rest of the L&L staff take Kristen out to lunch for her last day. They choose Johnny Mangos and of course, Liv is working. I was incredibly uncomfortable.

Finally, I talked to Lex several times throughout the week.

It's Beth and Erin though that are really getting to me. They are two girls that I'm just out of my mind crazy for. They're so smart and so beautiful and funny and sarchastic.

I could never date Beth again. She's too much woman for me. I don't deserve her. Same for Erin. I could date her, but it would end badly I think because we are both severly depressed people who need to be heavily medicated most of the time. But it's my fetish...my thing man - I dig the damaged goods. What can I say?

I learned how to play poker on Friday. This allowed me to tag every major vice in one week: smoking, drinking, sex, drugs and now...gambling! I was a quick learner for a change and actually made some money. We went from a table of three to a table of 6 and I held my own, but was dissappointed that no one said: "too rich for my blood" or "read 'em and weep." Next time I play poker I'll be sure to say both. Many many times to the point of annoyance for others present. I will find this amusing.

Kill Bill Vol. 2...I don't know. I just don't know. It was definitely good but- I don't know. I just don't know.