coopernr

So I'm fuckin flustered these days.
I want to get out of this town soon, cause there are so many things here that I just want to leave behind.

First, I don't have very many friends here anymore. I have lived here most of my life, but the friends I grew up with have gone on to other places, to do other things. I have too, but I am once again back. And then most of the people who are still here, I don't like all that much.

There is one person I like. A girl. And I like her a lot. If things were different between us, I think I could actually be more content here. I wish I could be with her, but can't. I hate to be in a friendship, where I want more, and the other person knows it, but doesn't return the feelings. That is exactly how I ended up. And then, if she and I were to just remain friends, that would be one thing. But I get the feeling sometimes that I am just a friend to her when she has no one else around. Like she calls me to hang out, but only when her other friends are working or whatever. But anyways, in summary, I want more... probably won't ever happen... so I just want to leave it all behind.

I don't have a job. This is something that is more my fault, but I am aiming to change that. I want money to do stuff somewhat entertaining here, and save up enough so I can move away. Also, having a job, I would be able to busy myself with other tasks, instead of sitting around most of the time and being depressed about things I can't have.

Winning the lottery right now would be swell, and would at least help me fix two of the problems. So if anyone knows the winning Powerball lottery numbers, let me know.

Yay for rants. Might not make me feel much better, but at least I can get some of the stuff off my chest I don't really feel like telling anyone I know around here.