cool_spot

I am so incredibly fucked up right now, I couldn't possibly begin to describe the feelings that are constantly struggling to gain control over me. So I won't even try.

I've seen shit today that I always knew was a possibility in my trade, but that doesn't change the impact it has on you. I'm shaking so bad it's taking me three tries to type each word you're reading here... and this at least 7 hours after the fact.

I don't know how the guys I work with manage to deal with these kind of feelings over and over again, but there are at least two gentlemen I work with that seem to be the first on the scene each and every time this sort of thing happens. I have more respect for those two men than I do any person I've ever met.

Candy-Cane, I still don't know the full extent of what you've been through, but I have a better understanding now than I could have ever wanted...

For those of you who don't know what I'm talking about, don't ask. I'm not about to try and detail it again... I've been doing that all day with other people that had to go through it as well. If you happen to know, or have found out, please don't try to console me as it will all just sound like empty words. I have plenty of people here that know exactly what I'm going through, their words will help a lot more than one who's never been there.

My appologies if I've offended anyone... I'm likely to be kinda fucked up for some time, and you're just going to have to deal with it... or not, as you see fit.