contradiction

I feel like my soul is set on "atrophy".

Work is killing me. Too much. Too much stress. Too much BS. Too many Russian programmers who fuck up on too many projects.

I never get out. NEVER. I mean it. I would love to get coffee or see a movie or get taken out to dinner or go to a club with the gals. Nope. Nada.

I have not written anything substantial in a month at least.

I am still not acknowledged on my band's website. I have my doubts that I will be. No, not really.

On the good side, I did a photo shoot Sat that was awesome. I usually hate pics of me, but the majority of these were great. I am so happy. The pics are for a full-page ad in Gothic Beauty for a clothing store that I am helping build that is going to be associated with findafreek. My grandparents want a copy - haha.

I want to play out. I want to finish my album. I want to finish fetisch's album. I want to have my life back - at least my social life. I want a spiffy ring. I want a lot of things.

Although to be honest, I have figured out my guy isn't going there, at least anytime soon. I guess the engagement ring foray was a temporary amusement that I didn't get. *shrug* I am done focusing, done feeling insulted (mostly), done hinting, done bitching. This is the last you guys will hear of it. Honestly. I don't even have dreams about it anymore.

I hope everyone is having a good time and planning a nifty v-day. My friend and I decided that if neither of us is going to have a good v-day, we will dress up and go out together, pretend we are an item for the hell of it and go dutch. LOL.

Honestly though, my life is great. I just like to vent about the frustrating stuff so that I can enjoy it.

My thought for the day: I need a break. A BIIIIIG LOOOOONG break.

My listening pleasure: A huge list of songs that I have on my puter and I have made a playlist called "Misc Bullshit 1"

Question of the Day: Who gave you the gnarliest head you have ever had? Do you get off from oral sex?

**You guys have all heard the Mr. GoodHead story. Most of you. He knows who he is. Although my guy beat him once. Oh yeeeeeah that was nice. I absolutely get off from it. When it is good stuff.**

Wearing: jeans and a tshirt. I know, exciting.

What I am avoiding to bring you this update: More work. I know there has to be some to do. Poo.

*********************************************

Okay, update on the head thing. I just got head so good yesterday that I couldn't walk and I almost hyperventilated. THAT was the best head of my life. Heehee. If I didn't know better, I would think my guy was reading my SG journal.