I need to record some material that I have been working on to get it to my manager...can't do it here, I don't have my stuff. I also need a guitarist who is better than myself to help me structure the underlying guitar-type stuff. I don't really know one anymore. Not one that does what I need. Anybody have any ideas?
Things are weird. I just listened to Angel tell some client of his that he is "visiting family" in FL, and talk to the guy for several minutes about going to some club and seeing hot chicks. Whatever dude. He confuses me. We just had this talk last night about why he has a problem with chick fans knowing we are together. He says he doesn't know. I think he still wants to keep his options open, no matter how subconcious that line of thinking is. I don't think he really wants to deal with it.
He was asking me why it is that I can go up on stage and plug in to that "zone" every time, and get that intense, connected performance. I tried to explain it. He asked why he couldn't. I tried to explain that. He assumed when I used our relationship as an example (among many other things) of things he does not surrender to, that I was questioning his love and commitment. *sigh* No, I was just stating that he have never been able to just say that this is all that he wants (relationship wise) - that he is going to give himself to this (not me, but this) fully. It is funny, he was going to get handfasted to the last girl he was with (a strange thing for him that I wonder what she did to get that out of him), but he swore that the entire time he KNEW that we were going to get back together, and that he saw us as twin souls, and that he loved me as he loved no other. draytonx made a good point (although I don't quite get it) that maybe he did it with her because it was easy, as opposed to committing himself to this, which is hard due to its true, serious, deep nature. I think that is what he said.
Of course, I can't ask Angel any of this, because he gets defensive, although I am terribly curious about how he sees the two situations. We have been together on and off 12x as long, and he has never even remotely suggested a public commtiment of any sort. It makes me wonder sometimes. I mean granted, I think marriage is fucked. I don't want to do that. But there is a middle ground, eh? Between keeping your options open and marrying the person? Maybe I am out of line. Let go, contradiction, let go. Breathe. In, out.
So to end on a lighter note, my manager's bday is in Aug. Apparently his parents are coming down for it, and I have been sworn to go to dinner with them. I think that rocks. In fact, I am actually going to buy a dress and wear it. Haha. I will take pictures, because you will never see this again, I tell ya.
I am going to get back to staring at my shiva statue and writing my very past due string arrangement now.
Things are weird. I just listened to Angel tell some client of his that he is "visiting family" in FL, and talk to the guy for several minutes about going to some club and seeing hot chicks. Whatever dude. He confuses me. We just had this talk last night about why he has a problem with chick fans knowing we are together. He says he doesn't know. I think he still wants to keep his options open, no matter how subconcious that line of thinking is. I don't think he really wants to deal with it.
He was asking me why it is that I can go up on stage and plug in to that "zone" every time, and get that intense, connected performance. I tried to explain it. He asked why he couldn't. I tried to explain that. He assumed when I used our relationship as an example (among many other things) of things he does not surrender to, that I was questioning his love and commitment. *sigh* No, I was just stating that he have never been able to just say that this is all that he wants (relationship wise) - that he is going to give himself to this (not me, but this) fully. It is funny, he was going to get handfasted to the last girl he was with (a strange thing for him that I wonder what she did to get that out of him), but he swore that the entire time he KNEW that we were going to get back together, and that he saw us as twin souls, and that he loved me as he loved no other. draytonx made a good point (although I don't quite get it) that maybe he did it with her because it was easy, as opposed to committing himself to this, which is hard due to its true, serious, deep nature. I think that is what he said.
Of course, I can't ask Angel any of this, because he gets defensive, although I am terribly curious about how he sees the two situations. We have been together on and off 12x as long, and he has never even remotely suggested a public commtiment of any sort. It makes me wonder sometimes. I mean granted, I think marriage is fucked. I don't want to do that. But there is a middle ground, eh? Between keeping your options open and marrying the person? Maybe I am out of line. Let go, contradiction, let go. Breathe. In, out.
So to end on a lighter note, my manager's bday is in Aug. Apparently his parents are coming down for it, and I have been sworn to go to dinner with them. I think that rocks. In fact, I am actually going to buy a dress and wear it. Haha. I will take pictures, because you will never see this again, I tell ya.
I am going to get back to staring at my shiva statue and writing my very past due string arrangement now.
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wait, wait, wait. you mean all tv isn't live?
xoxox