contradiction

I am pretty sure to men, lying is a sport. Really.

I think they like to half-truth (which is as good as lying in my book) and lie just to prove that they can. And then when they are called on it, it becomes "you are controlling me" (then don't say you're going to do something, braniac) or "you don't trust me to do what I say I am going to do" (yeah, well, you haven't though).

I think maybe time doesn't work out in their brains. "I will be to bed in 5 minutes" turns into "it is more interesting to read message boards for another 2.5 hours than it is to go to bed with you". "I will take care of this huge fuckup I did immediately. It is my first priority. I feel terrible. It will take two months, tops" turns into "It's been nine months with no progress, but fuck you for not having faith that I will take care of it!"

I would love to figure out some way to deal with this nonsense. I almost feel sometimes like I am setting myself up for a lifetime of bullshit.

And it feels weird that my producer friend that moved to Toronto keeps messaging me telling me how much he loves me, and how sorry he is that he did not treat me better and swear his undying love to me...says he was a moron to let me go. Well, yeah, but *shrug* what are you gonna do? Every time I tell him that I know, I care very much for him, but we can't be together, I feel terrible. He is a great guy, despite some of his idiosynchracies. I want to believe that he will "snap out of it" but that seems so mean, and honestly, not likely after almost 2 years of feeling this way. ARGH!

Pink_Elephant, I need my damn clicker.