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OMG, I have internet again. I have been without at home (except for a very unreliable open wireless network named default. Have you heard of it, I hear they're spreading across the country!) Oh drifted off there for awhile. My God, I've been so unfocused lately, sp attention challenged. But the weed does that to me, and I have been endulging lately. Ha...
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zef:
is this a real woman or new pet? or both?

glad to have you back. I've enjoyed that "default" network a few times myself. I was without home service for five months once. My neighbors, who were very loud and fought all the time, had an open network. I wonder if they ever noticed that their bandwidth crunched a few times when I was downloading stuff...hahahahahahuhem.

Accidents happen.

Weed? I am so jealous. We get crap around her so I don't bother. I want so badly to find a hookup for really good shit and just keep myself stocked with a handsome variety of quality buds. Someday. I'll grow my own, hopefully it will be legalsmile



psychemoon:
i do hope that she can win it, that is if it is open to be won...
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I'm back and alive, hating work and dreaming about my escape. I lasted about 2 days before I started hating work again, so I know what I must do. Well, not exactly but on the big scheme of things I do.

Pictures are coming, I got some corrupted files back from the lab and that messed up my laptop etc, etc, but I think...
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contextual:
The profile pic -- I took it off because I felt I was censoring myself too much, partly because of knowing people I work with could be reading this. I want to be able to talk about weed and such and it if the someone wants to get rid of me here they could use that against me. Maybe I'm being paranoid, but the fact is I'm more open with what I write if I'm annonymous.
psychemoon:
there is also a certain mystery around one who remains annonymous
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Just a quick update from Brazil. I'm changing planes in Soa Paulo right now. I'm heading back to the beach after 5 days in the Amazon.

The jungle was awesome, saw a giant sloth sleeping way up in a tree, howler monkeys, cute little TELUS monkeys (I'm not sure what they're called), macaws and big ass Amazon trees; swam with Dolphins...
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zef:
cool shit. Can't wait for you to get back so we can see all the picts!! I don't think you really want to see an anaconda, not up close anyway. That was a cow in that picture remember, you are smaller than a cow.

herbal aphrodisiac? Explain that at the border crossing or at the airport terminal nazis.
psychemoon:
truly jealous...
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Well I saw the loft of my dream, a huge bedroom space that could double as a studio (I'm thinking Murphy bed that hides in the wall), huge ceilings and a floor to ceiling window at one end and access to the top of the elevator shaft as a funky little room, alas it's a bit out of my means. I'm close...
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zef:
that's a great outlook! First allow for the possibility, then ask yourself what can you do to make this possible, then trust that all will work out as is best and fitting. The subconscous starts working on solutions almost immediately. What you get might not be exactly what you expect, but it might just be better. I believe. you'll have fabulous news and pictures from your brasil trip and about your future studio space.

Good luck!
psychemoon:
enjoy brazil, wear lots of sunscreen!!
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Well things are much better for me now. I've got my Mac up and working, after a system rebuild. Thanks to Mac I backed up my harddrive by plugging into the firewire drive on another machine so I have my data.

I got my visa for Brazil, or I will February 2nd in time for my flight. And, if that's not sweet enough...
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zef:
Well, the pregnant thing was an afterthought. I just found her attractive, then saw that she was pregnant. So I don't know if that counts, but if I am attracted for that reason, then I suppose that's a good enough reason. I suppose I should really be wondering what that means, wanting to return to the womb. hmmm.
zef:
your welcome. Good luck and as psychemoon says, I can't wait to see the pictures!!!

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zef:
That's a really funny picture and I don't think I could go without actually feeling like "they" were looking at me. I think I'd have to go in the first one because she looks the most pleased with what's she is seeing. It would make me feel good about myself. lol

I really hope that you get your trip. I know how much it sucks to be in your empty apartment situation. And I totally can relate to your mac problems. I am a mac wiz. If I were there I'd do everything possible to help ease your anxiety. My guess is you frustrated with several independant things that make everything seem shitty, complex, unbarrable, and unwinnable. Hang in there, somethingwill give. Good luck.

Don't forget to take your camera with you to brasil. I want to see lots of pictures.
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contextual:
OK, I'm back. This will have to be quick because my mind will drift onto something else soon. I came to my laptop to search the web for info to figure out how much a professional photo studio costs to set up. Now I'm here and I stoked the hookah and we smoked it downstairs, not in my part of the house because my roommate hates the smell and I drop some of the charcoal on the floor and it burns holes in the carpet because I didn't bring anything to pick it up with if it dropped. And it dropped.

I have a friend in T.O.

OK, well I drifted off a bit there. Probably 10 minutes, but maybe it was 2 because time is moving more slowly for me now. I wanted to work on the dream, get a plan and make it real. Before I make it real I've got to bounce the plan off some friends.

So I've got a good downpayment saved up for a property, right now I'm thinking something close to downtown but cheap. I've got friend's looking in edmonton so I've got to ask them. (I was gone for another 10 minutes in the middle of that last sentence). But I want something big and maybe a converted industrial building, something big inside but maybe ugly outside or not a great neighbourhood. I want an apartment attached to a studio, but seperate entrances. I want to get an apprenticeship from a photographer, in my studio. So I need a photographer that is renting studio space and rent it to him/her cheaper.

Hey what is this contextual's calendar business? Iclicked ion the sysmbol up above under my last calenddar and it brought up this calendar with dates and times. Is this when I've been on this thing? (was gone another 10 minutes in the middle of that) OK, I can't spell anymore.

Oh yeah, your question. I hide parts of myself, I constantly edit how much I'm going to reveal when other people are around. I think working in the office, in a cubicle where I can hear 10 people's conversations and they can here mine and I feel like I have to act a certain way in the office, to belong as a manager. And I'm naturally shy, but I can't be shy in my current job, I have to confront people when they're late with something and get them to do it on time or correct them if they're screwing up and I just want to hide in my cubicle. I want to get away from that, in my space with my rules. That's why I want an apprenticeship in my studio. If I can find the right person, it's part of the dream now.
psychemoon:
wonderful dream... try not to put it off for too long... live the dream and you'll be much happier.

are we off to a good year so far?
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zef:
awesome!!!!
zef:
yeah, burt's ass, no-no-no.
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Christmas, Christmas, Christmas!!! Damn I get stressed out this time of year. I always leave things to the last minute including enlarging photos for Christmas gifts (not done), making my annual calendar (not done), and inviting friends to my folks place for a pre-Christmas dinner (nope, not done). Not a big deal if I lived near home but I'm in Edmonton and I fly...
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zef:
I really could have gone without seeing burt reynold's ass (AGAIN!), but it is amusing.smile

It's all the giving and the feel of the connection to people, seemingly everyone celebrating the same event, it has some power even for those of us that feel that jesus was a man if anything at all.

Brasil? I hope that's still as nice of a trip as I imagine it to be. lately all I've heard about is poverty and crime, but I am not all that up on things, so....

Peace back at ya.
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Had dinner with J-babe last night, at the chicken lady's formal restaurant Lingnan. Treated like a king, that was great and so was the eats. J and I had a good time as always, but we've established again that although I'm into going out with her she's just not into going out with me. Right now. She has to add that...
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contextual:
What the fuck is Pingu?

Pingu is the creation of a French animator and was produced in Switzerland; he's the penguin I use in my profile shot. The shows are 5 minute shorts that tell the story of this little penguin growing up in Antartica learning lessons in life. The characters speak their own language, created by an Italian actor, that is an intricate blend of sounds that sound like a real language. You totally know what the characters are saying to each other.

Sadly the creator has died and the rights bought by Hit Entertainment, makers of Bob the Builder. Little Pingu is destined to be turned into silly products mass marketed for the benefit of their shareholders.
psychemoon:
better to wait then to be the rebound i think...

sorry it's been so very long since i've made an appearance of any sort... so many distractions...
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Kamloops - yep a very Canadian name. I was surprised to learn that it's just south of Dallas -- Dallas British Columbia. There's very rugged and semi-arid hills around the city, a lot like Southern California. No South Forks Ranch though. Unfortunately I never took my camera out of the hotel room. Shit.

Well the strike is over and I'm back home. I've...
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aspasia:
Kamloops: also home to The University College of the Cariboo , which, thankfully have their own online store. (Damnit, I was just about to link to it, but they've changed their name to Thompson Rivers University. And I so wanted a sweatshirt.)

I would go TO, if you are serious about photos. Plus, Edmonton winters. Once you're out again, you'll remember that the rest of the world doesn't automatically ask if their parking space has a plug-in.
adonis:
soul soul soul.... hmmm. soul is my drug of choice. i too take zoloft to rise me up and klonopin to relax me and lunesta to sleep and up to 10 advil a day for pain. and the occasional puff on a bowl or drink of wine is prohibited but really, how else can my creative inspiration filter through the drug haze? i think it's the same for you with your photography and the things you love.
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Back on the road and in Kamloops now. I'm back in the cable repair world, basically riding around in a truck and watching another guy work. I'd like to be doing some work myself, it would be way more interesting, but he doesn't seem to be willing to share. I even offered to let him sleep in the truck while I did...
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zef:
well, my friend is definitely a young homer simpson. He will only tell her at the very last minute, then spend days asking her what the hell the big deal is, that he was just trying to avoid the drama which in his estimates would be far more excrutiating than lying to her.

He's a hoot though. I wouldn't want to miss his antics for anything.

As for you, are you getting any good pictures while you are out there? Since he isn't letting you do any of the work, you might as well get some shots in. Do you have a small enough digital camera you can stash away until the moment and/or inspiration hits?

Kamloops? Definitely a canadian name.