Okay, just back from the new Star Wars film, Rouge One; so I guess I need to give it a review. Before I begin, I need to say, that the last five (Starting with the Return of the Jedi, and all since) of the these film have left me a bit flat, so I tried hard to keep an open mind about this latest installment, and go in as though I had never seen the other films...
I hated this film. It left me cringing in my seat, rocking from side to side wondering when it would end. I actually covered my face, three times and ask: When will it end. Please God, make it stop. This film is so bad, I hoped they would bring in Jar Jar Binks to liven it up! The acting is pure crap, with only two characters properly developed, and they are stiff, wooden, emotionless dolts. Felicity Jones is the weakest link in a film filled of weak links. She is flat, and goes though this film with the same dumb expression on her face to the point, that the director Gareth Edwards puts a empire soldiers helmet on her face so it does not ruin every scene. There is a technical problem with Jones' character as well, for all the close-ups of her and Diego Luna she is almost his height, but when they are seen standing next to each other, she looks tiny. At one point, in her Empire garb, from behind she looks so small that the viewer will wonder who it is. This drives me nuts. There is a tiny bit of fine acting by Forest Whitaker, but his part is small and all to fleeting. Diego Luna is so bad you will wish his death many times in this film. Donnie Yen (A truly fine actor in his native Chinese) in this film plays a monk, who pretends he is a Jedi, who's character is so one dimensional and full of clenches you will cheer at his ultimate fate. His big fight scene, is straight out of the Matrix Reloaded, and feels tired, and predictable. The characters in this film are so poorly developed that you will forget their names before the film is over. Oh, speaking of not knowing the names of characters, they introduce characters at an almost spastic pace in this film, as well as switch planets so many times it's hard to keep up. There has to be at least 45 Characters in the first half an hour, and most don't even get a name. Computer generated Carrie Fisher, can't save it, neither can cameos from Mark Hamill, and the rest of the originals; and there was far too little of R2D2 and C3PO. Also I found the rip-off of the 5th Element, cheap and unoriginal. I wonder if they Paid Luc Bresson for having the Diva Plavalaguna appear in this turkey. I can't believe that Edwards watched the dailies and still put his name on this. He has no shame apparently. Even all the advanced billing for this tried in vain to convince us that it was, "A star Wars Story." Well as it turns out it is not an unconnected story, as the advanced billing suggests, but a film between--Return of the Syth, and A New Hope, and it is filled with characters from the earlier films. Why lie to us?
Also, the lack of a score by John Williams, leaves big holes, in the audio track of this film. Michael Giacchino's score felt like it was trying to be different solely for the sake of being different, and was completely weak and underwhelming. It leaves me to speculate, if Williams refused to score the film, after reading the script. I will need to do more research on this. Further, the sound in this film was crap too. At least half a dozen times the funky accents of the actors made key words, and names unintelligible, and really interfered with the story telling.
The real problem with this film is that it is made to clear up a plot flaw in the first film, now called: A New Hope (Star Wars to me), and this is how, with the technology available to the Empire, they designed a Death Star, that could be blown up by shooting down a ventilation duct. Well, they cleared that up with two hours of what I have to tell you is the worst movie I did not walk out on. This film is looking at bad in the rear view mirror. To call it a vomitous pile of crap, is to insult vomitous piles of crap all over the know galaxy. This film is so bad, it would make a starving maggot vomit. Do not go see this film! Do not rent it at Red Box! Do not buy it, on DVD or Blue Ray! Stop the insanity at Disney! Make them lose money and stop rehashing tired old plots with a bunch of choppy special effects and cameos from talentless old actors who should be in retirement homes. Oh, and by the way Disney, having a female protagonist, and a multicultural cast, most of whom have British accents, does not make this film hip, or progressive... So to recap, bad acting, bad direction, thin plot, bad writing, choppy special effects, funky sound, weak music, and highly variable lighting, make this the worst of all the Star Wars films. If I could I would give this lower than an F-, but alas I can't.