constellationsix

I was supposed to go down to Ocean City today. I was gonna get up like 10 and drive down to try and beat the traffic, but I couldn't sleep last night, so I woke up at 12:30, and I'm just chilling, eating breakfast, then I finally leave, but I realize I (of course) forgot some stuff (just sunglasses and my hat and book for when I'm getting some sun), so I run back home back home but I can't find my sunglasses but I leave with everything else anyway so I leave again but I look down and my shorts are covered in shit. I don't know when this happened, but I decide for the sake of company (and self respect) to just run in target real quick and buy another pair. Of course, all the lanes are busy and half of the cashiers are new hires and don't understand the complicated machines in front of them ("which button do I push for total?" "total." "this one?" "no, that's void." etc.) so I'm waiting for like ten minutes and the girl whose lane I'm in (who actually knows what she's doing) keeps calling people over from the lane of the girl who is autistic or something even though they got in line after me (and I'm totally anal about that...character flaw, I realize) and I finally get out of there and go peeling out of the parking lot and an old man is shaking his fist at me (no, really) and I realize I forgot my fucking swimsuit so I go back home, grab that shit, still can't find my shades, and leave. I'm on E but on the way to the Atlantic City Expressway (which I of course am taking down) is a Wawa with gas 15 cents cheaper or more than everywhere else so I get all the way down there (like 10 miles or so from my house) and get out and smile at the guy and pull out my wallet but my ATM card isn't in it. So I give him like $10 cash and tell him to go as fast as he can and he smiles with like 4 teeth in his entire face (another detail I'm not just inventing to make the story funny) and in my car I'm hitting shit and yelling "FUCKFUCKFUCK!!" and finally I peel out of there and race all the way back to the bank where I used the ATM last night (the last time I remember having it) and it's even farther than my house but I get there and it's like 2:45 but the bank closed at 12 because it's Citizen's Bank and their motto is "No minimum balance and we fucking hate your life." So I run back home to borrow money from my mom but she's not around. So I'm stuck here waiting for her to get home (because, like seemingly every person over the age of 45, she doesn't know that people actually call you on your cell phone sometimes).

God fucking dammit.