constellationsix

Ow ow ow ow ow.

I hate crushes.

Today I went over to the house of a friend of a friend of a friend. She is half Russian, half Ukrainian. She likes movies and is just as tall as me (6 foot) and she made me hot tea. Her English is perfect with the perfect accent.

For me, there have always been three types of girls. 1) the ones that just don't interest me. I try to be equal opportunity, but sorry. 2) the girls that are just plain bangable. My idea of a relationship with them is lots of sex and extraneous conversation. 3) the dream girl...the girl I want to marry; the girl who makes me feel like I'm in 7th grade, staring as all the girls I secretly have crushes on dance with boys I infinitely hate; the girl who gives me that feeling of pressing desperation, like I'm staring at the one thing that would make me the happiest person in the world and I can't figure out how to make it mine.

The girl I met tonight was that third type. She's got a thick accent and she's flirty and she's a masseuse and I just felt struck with this feeling of sadness immediately after leaving her house. I'm really exaggerating how much I like her, but I'm sure everybody knows the feeling. I haven't had a crush like this in a long time.

I want to marry her and move to a cottage in Europe in the middle of a giant sunflower field.