Soo.......I'm ok. Things are way weird, and my head needs some water wings cause it's swimming. The only thing I can say without completely contradicting and embarassing myself is that a switch flipped in my head these past few days. Alot has dawned on me and now I have much to do.

I miss SG somethin awful, but not having internet at my automatic disposal is prolly a good thing. There's still SO much to be done. Moving day is tomorrow. Just know that I love you all and can't wait to catch up. I've seen quite a few new sets go up that I'm dying to see, I just don't have the time. Oh well, there not going anywhere.

He has spent the last two nights with me. We're not getting along as we usually would, but we're not screaming so that's a start. I really do love this man, I just need some time to figure myself out. And I've hurt him enough already, asking him to wait for me to make up my mind would be selfish and irrational. We'll see how it goes.

I know this sounds really weird what with all the shit I've been talking about him. Yes, he did sleep with someone else. No, it didn't mean anything to him. In a way, I asked for it. Remember, also, that he comes from a country where prostitution is legal. The way he explained it to me was, "I was drunk and angry. She's a whore I didn't have to pay for." Gross, huh? But in some twisted way this makes me feel better about the whole thing.

Yes, I am certifiable.