conjure

I tried to withdraw from a unit today, doing this would have leached my degree out for another six months. I just want it to be over

I needed people to talk to about it.

I tried to reach out to my friends.

I tried to brush it off.

But I'm not that strong, I just feel so alone sometimes.

One person came through for me today, just one.

And I broke down and cried.

Why didn't any one else?

It was my lecturer. The one that made me feel like shit in the first place.

She was giving me tough love. I'm no good at it. She's mean, as far as I can see. But she has my best interests at heart.

I don't know what to do now. I don't know what to do at all. I'm behind in that subjects, and I don't care if I stretch out my degree. But I do care. I feel like a failure, and I can't stand to fail.

I've been lying to people. I want to tell ... people ... that I care about them more than they know. That they mean the world to me. You mean the world to me.

But I can't. Because I'm afraid to lose you.

It's so stupid that I do this here ...

I have a problem: I either reveal nothing, or I reveal too much.


EDIT
Unrelated Pictures that don't mean I feel any better. Just that I can't get to sleep