Have you ever been in combat? Walked up behind a enemy? so close you could smell his after shave. See the wrinkle in his clothes. Every step he takes is a step you've given him. Then it happens he turns. Its at that moment the world slows down to a stand still. He hardly makes eye contact before blood sprays back in your face. Its not the killing that hurts. Its the time spent with a hand over his mouth so that his screams can't be heard. And because the first shot didn't kill that man. You got to watch as the life left his contorted face. He is dead now. The world speeds back up. More people are on their way. You run so fast and so far that you legs are on fire and you heart pump acid. Then you run some more. You spend the next day scraping coagulated blood out of your five o clock shadow. And then it hits you you've killed a man. did he have kids? A family.
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