comradebuttons

I'm kind of depressed. My life is getting to be so repetitious anymore. It's the same thing. I spend half my life over at the apartment smoking a cigarette every ten minutes, feeling sick, watching all my friends do drugs. I'm so bored and there doesn't seem to be anything in the world to do anymore. Even going rollerskating only cheers me up for a while. I know I will soon be bored with it too. Most of the time I wish I could just be absorbed into my imagination and live there as if it were a physical place. Or any of my favorite video games, graphic novels, books, movies... I hate this feeling. It makes me not want to try anymore. I barely see Gabe anymore. Although we spend most of the week together, we're at the apartment half the time and he's always with Jeremy or Colin being their assistants. I like the boys at the apartment, but it's not like we ever do anything over there. Once in a while something will be going on, but 9/10 times it'll just be tattoos or video games... the same game they've been playing for about 2 months. Anyways... I'm just venting. I kind of hope nobody reads this, because I hate sounding like such a loser whining about my life all the time.

In other and more positive news, my story has just one more chapter to go before it is complete. I can probably do that in one day if I apply myself. But after that I have to write the 'archives' and add the diary which may be as long as a chapter in itself, as well as go back to about six parts of the book and rewrite them. But if I worked on it every day, it could be done in two weeks. It'll probably take three months though. I think I'll try to just get to the end of it first... or should I re-write? I feel like I shouldn't give it an ending until I'm done with everything prior to that. Otherwise I might just say "fuck it" and never go back to finish the shitty parts.

In worse news, I', 95% sure I have obtained a yeast infection. I've never had one before but it fucking sucks worse than a UTI. This probably makes me sound like a filthy person but I shower and scrub every day so I don't know... Okay bye.