Belonging
I once felt like I belonged somewhere.
It was that sort of feeling you get from being in a job you love, or from being part of a thriving community. Not the belonging you get from family or friends. I have family, and I know I belong there, and friends aren't incredibly important to me. I have a couple close ones, and that's how I like it. Friends, despite popular sentiment, are largely a cheap commodity though. They come and go all throughout our lives, and shouldn't be where we derive purpose or belonging.
At least, that's what I've gathered from my twenty-two short years here. I've never had a friend or lover that made me a more fulfilled person. I had some wonderful companions, but I don't think I can be 'completed' by another incomplete person, like that puzzle piece that all the movies would have us believe is out there.
Anyway, that was a bit of a side-track.
The point is that I've lost myself. That place that I belonged existed inside me, and now it's gone. How do I get back to a place that exists only in my head and heart though? It's an abstract idea that even I couldn't put a finger on. When and how I lost it is a blur.
Have you ever lost sight of who you are? Of where you belong? How did you get it back? (If you say Jesus, I will slap you in the face
)
I refuse to live a shallow life.
Anyway... back to work ;P. I've missed you guys.
With Love,
Com
I once felt like I belonged somewhere.
It was that sort of feeling you get from being in a job you love, or from being part of a thriving community. Not the belonging you get from family or friends. I have family, and I know I belong there, and friends aren't incredibly important to me. I have a couple close ones, and that's how I like it. Friends, despite popular sentiment, are largely a cheap commodity though. They come and go all throughout our lives, and shouldn't be where we derive purpose or belonging.
At least, that's what I've gathered from my twenty-two short years here. I've never had a friend or lover that made me a more fulfilled person. I had some wonderful companions, but I don't think I can be 'completed' by another incomplete person, like that puzzle piece that all the movies would have us believe is out there.
Anyway, that was a bit of a side-track.
The point is that I've lost myself. That place that I belonged existed inside me, and now it's gone. How do I get back to a place that exists only in my head and heart though? It's an abstract idea that even I couldn't put a finger on. When and how I lost it is a blur.
Have you ever lost sight of who you are? Of where you belong? How did you get it back? (If you say Jesus, I will slap you in the face
)
I refuse to live a shallow life.
Anyway... back to work ;P. I've missed you guys.
With Love,
Com
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
I read constantly, and do my best to make time for thought and reflection, however, I've still felt stagnant. I'm in a great job, have good friends, and a lot of things going for me, but I think that security has maybe caused me to stop trying to learn new things, new skills, or to seek new experiences.
I'm going to start teaching myself a new skill soon. Maybe a language, maybe cooking, or maybe sewing. My family owns a fabric store in SF, so that would make sense. Also, maybe I'll venture off my usual type of reading and pick up something totally new and off my radar. I dunno. I know that I can't just sit here.
Maybe I'll post what I'm learning on this blog in the future, as well as updates to my feelings of lost/found-ness.
In any case, I really appreciate your advice