colette

what a dead ass weekend i had

I had quite a few libation friday with friends...we went back to my house and i promptly got into my pjamas...and never took them off the whole weekend. The same friends came over sat and sun and still, the same pjamas...i was fairly rank by today. Drank too much gin sat. passed out in bed with artpunk...while the boys "played" their fantasy games...i slept all day sat and today...dry heaves at 1 in the afternoon...shit by then you'd think it would have been safe to get up.

i meant to do some stuff this weekend.
i guess sometimes you just shut down for a bit and need to rest...

made a cd mix
"mi cuelo en fuego"

bad man-juicy bananas
boys don't cry-the cure
breaking glass-bowie
classic girl-jane's addiction
freakin at the freakers ball-dr. hook
im going slightly mad-queen
mi unico camino-lonestar soundtrack
mr punchy-joey ramone
pablo picasso-burning sensations
patience-guns n roses
peek-a-boo-siouxsie & banshees
puss n boots-adam ant
scelette delicieux-nekromantic 2 soundtrack
so fresh so clean-outkast
sound & vision-bowie

also listened to a peel sessions joy division album
music was nice this weekend

here's another little bit i wrote:

i love to bite
to hurt
he always lets me he has scars on his arm
from me
just playing around
i threw my steel toes at his face once
he cried

i would love to dominate you
tie you up
so you couldn't touch
or even move
torment you with my pale
virginal
nakedness
bit your nipples
your wrists
your small white belly
run my tongue
tiny, pink,
up the inside of your thigh
and there would be nothing you
could do
nothing
at
all

immobile pleasure
restrained passion
frigid heat

nowadays I want to be dominated...I've never met anyone who really could. I am such a control freak. I know it. Not teh best of qualities, but it has helped me out in some ways...but just once i want to not be in control at all...to count on someone else for everything, just for a day or a week...to be free of the restraints i put on myself...

I have felt out of control, but only a few extremely horrible times...knee surgery...being mugged...a very scary bad acid trip by myself...

i want it to feel good...to relinquish my obessiveness with everything...and just relax totally...would be nice i suppose