Friday Sep 03, 2004

0
still feeling like crap... is this ever going to end?!?
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
genericname:
it will end when you come on over here and hang out with me and my friendless ass
infrareddreams:
10 is ok, hope you get this

Thursday Sep 02, 2004

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wow! what a day! i went to a school party. fuck. i hate this!!!! I FEEL SOOOOOO AWFUL!!!!! when are these feelings ever going to go away?!?! fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck...
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mr_ruckus:
frown

What's up?
private message me or email me.....

Wednesday Sep 01, 2004

0
"i know you think that i shouldn't still love you or tell you that
but if i didn't say it, well i'd still have felt it, where's the sense in that
i promise i'm not trying to make your life harder or return to where we were

i will go down with this ship and i won't put my hands up and surrender
there will...
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rabbiofrock:
yeah, i guess things are going alright... i feel kinda like crap-i think im getting sick, and that isnt helping my demeanor any at this point.. i just want to curl up in bed all day and ignore the world.... frown

thanks for the good thoughts!

Tuesday Aug 31, 2004

0

Vacant eyes
Empty soul
Losing faith
Crying inside, for what used to be
infrareddreams:
the watering hole, that's on pleasant street near the beer can museum? I think that would be ok. we could always bounce around a little. i recently quit drinking, so i hope you won't mind if i am sober. me and alcohol are like fire and gasoline.puke i only do the illegal stuff these days.ARRR!!! let me know what time you will be there.

[Edited on Sep 01, 2004 5:27AM]

Monday Aug 30, 2004

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it's really amazing how i can talk to a friend and feel so much better afterwards! i just talked to a friend from school that i miss very much. it was nice to hear his voice. thank god for friends....
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
infrareddreams:
Thursday is the only day I can't meet. Wednesday I have daytime or after about 8pm, Friday I have pretty free, and the weekend looks good so far. Let me know if any of those work for you. Hope you feel better miao!!
rabbiofrock:
its alright... she's having a hard time right now and it sucks that i cant be there for her so that puts a bit of stress on things... but she is coming out here on the 18th, so that will be nice! smile

outside of that, not much else to report... sick of my job right now... want to get out of ohio in the worst way... so, long story short, i guess that i am in a bit of a rut right now.... oh well..... wink

Sunday Aug 29, 2004

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so, i ran into someone i really didn't want to see, so soon. it's obvious i am not doing as good as i should be. self medicating is getting old. this is not where i ever thought i would be at 26. anyways, i hope they didn't see the tears in my eyes... tried to act strong, and failed...surreal: surreal surreal surreal surreal surreal surreal surreal surreal surreal surreal surreal surreal surreal surreal surreal surreal surreal surreal surreal surreal surreal surreal surreal surreal surreal surreal surreal surreal surreal surreal
rabbiofrock:
sorry that things are rough... frown

sometimes, it has been my experience, putting on that strong front can do more damage than good. im not advocating totally losing it or anything, but allowing yourself to simply FEEL what you are experiencing can help you get out of a rut...

sending you good thoughts and hugs smile smile smile smile smile smile
mr_ruckus:
Yeah,It really is sometimes but you will be fine.
Cry if you wanna,Scream if you gotta.
Fuck the neighbors,Let it out!

Saturday Aug 28, 2004

0
drunk
trying not to feel
men stare
women gossip
fuck them
trying not to feel
why can't i, be me?
no, i don't want a drink
go away
let me, be...
genericname:
you can be you around me if you are ever bored, im sittin around and im always a kind friend (er i think unless you piss me off and do somethin really mean of course)

Thursday Aug 26, 2004

0
Blank eyes
Screaming soul
Sinking into the abyss of darkness
Flowing into the depth of blackness within
Reentering my state of complete indifference
Comfortable feelings recapture me
Questioning how i let happiness take hold
I vow to fight it next time
Pain is, knowing what i'm without
Screaming soul
Build back the walls of my being.
Make them higher, thicker, stronger
genericname:
sounds like the feelings i put in my poems smile

Wednesday Aug 25, 2004

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i will never find myself in this place again! it's not amusing. i will deny myself happiness, to save myself from these feelings. my soul is desperate to feel, but my head is smarter now. my heart is slowly healing and will go back to being the color of the night.
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
impulsive:
sorry i didn't get back to you. the job isn't any time soon, i'll keep you posted.
nimhly:
hey girly, if you need help with your website, i'll be online all night, so you can AIM me at tracykay13 if you want smile
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