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cognomennull

Bangor, ME

Member Since 2003

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Wednesday Mar 17, 2004

Mar 17, 2004
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yuck.. computer problems.. my IE doesn't like this site anymore.. so I'm canceling my account until I get everything working properly again...

maybe not such a bad thing... I spend way too much time online and have a lot of other things I should be working on... paintings, historical costuming that needs to be done soon, and several half finished stained-glass and metal projects.. and I'm off for an undetermined length of time this spring, once the ice is out of the river and it's warm enough for kayaking... later in the spring I'm exhiling myself to a small island off the coast of maine. just feeling the need to get away for a while and be by myself, and think about stuff.. need solitude. it's hardly an island that I'm going to... more like a tall rock, with some grass and a tree on one side, I could prolly make it from one side to the other with a couple good jumps... yeah, small, but it's MINE.. and if any seagulls or ducks, or those other silly looking sea birds think otherwise, they're just a stones throw away and will make a fine & tasty birdy treat for me.

may 23 is the date I've set to leave.. kayaking on the ocean by yourself is not a very safe thing to do. I've come to terms with the fact that the ocean could swallow me up if it wanted to... it hasn't yet, but I can't say that I'd care much of it did... there are far worse ways to die than drowning a mile off shore, or freezing to death in cold water... slipping in the shower and having some shower fixture carve a chunk out of my skull would be much worse; or dying of old age, senile and unable to change my own clothes or go to the bathroom on my own would be worse... or being hit by a steel box on wheels while bicycling or walking across the street... many worse ways to die than on the ocean, and unless the earth opens up and swallows me or the moon falls on my head, then I can't think of much that'll kill me that is greater or more powerful than the ocean. well, I can... but nothing thats any more likely than being crushed by the moon... maybe the hot sun, while sitting in my kayak on the ocean.. but the sea would still have its way with me in the end... I figure it's payback for all the seafood I've eaten, now the lobsters and crabs can have their turn with me if they get the chance.

but no, I don't mean to die yet. Every year I'm out on the water with better equipment and new experiance from the year before... but it's entirely possible that any of my future outings could be my last... so I like to leave as many unfinished projects as possible before I go.. and right now I have a lot of them and only a couple months.. so less time spent online = more time to finish all these things I want to get done.

okay, so once I get the computer problems fixed, and finish up some of these projects, and get tired of living on a tiny nub of land in ocean, I hope I'll be able to come back here.

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