clovesbud

You ever get the urge to dramatically change your life? I've had that urge for a couple days now, and it's getting more intense. Last time I went through this, I was in Illinois. I ended up on the West coast making movies.

The brilliant and beautiful mtlqueen made some tough decisions over the last couple of months. Decisions many of us would be too weak, or scared, to make. But, now she seems so empowered and in control of her life. I'm jealous. I wanna feel like I'm calling my own shots again. Extended unemployment doesn't afford you that. It's a state of, not weakness, but...hmmm...I guess just depressing limbo.

The key is to not get too depressed. I ain't dying and I know, this way or that, I'll be alright.

Sobriety is good because it really forces me to work through shit. And it's time to work through shit.

I'm drinking this weekend though, dammit!!
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So, it's 2:20 and I'm up too late. I just got two emails from jason lee telling me eveything is good and being all positive and shit. Uh..it's such a roller coaster. Just when I'm convinced no one gives a shit, I get some feedback. It's...I don't know.

I still wanna leave.
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