clockworkzim

I'm not crazy

It's 4 a.m. and the sky is beautiful., up and away from this room and this bed and the oppressive inevitability of sleep. I hate sleep. But sleep always comes (that or madness.) Fighting off a heavy eyelid gets lonely, but spending time this way does allow you some insight on certian things, though perhaps trivial, as most things tend to be. You begin to get very familiar with an untained sadness, and nasty, all consuming mortal contemplations. And you begin to resent those who turn these things into laughable theatrics, and twist it into yet another fashion. It's not skull-buckle boots, or white makeup to put on bad skin. It all loses it's significance once you cheapen it and make it into a style thing. But with all these irritations present, I still maintain my stupendously sunny disposition. Having predominantly unpleasant thoughts is just another thing to accept as normality, and eventually becomes part of the blood that fuels you. It's all very amusing, but, in no way does it render you invulnerable to the effects of a bad day. But i've managed this nicely. I mean, i still haven't killed myself.