ben leaves for tour (again) today. this time for three weeks. i am strong. i am an asexual robot. i will flip the switch to "off" and reboot in 21 days.
went to mke last night and we went to "at random" and had cocktails. fawning had to halt for a phone call. normally i am not a bastard cell phone user, in fact i hardly ever pick up my phone, but whenever i see my mothers number i answer. it was my sister telling me my great grandma neva died. she could speak and write three languages and had amazing stories. my favorite one was when she told us about the first time she saw fireworks. she was sitting on a fence. at that moment mortality must have been the furthest thing from her mind. i was glad i had a drink in front of me.
so in the last month i've lost both great grandparents and pushkins the cat. lost isn't a good word...i don't feel a loss. i think that's the wrong way to think about death.
if anything, i have such an affection for who they both were and all the things they have seen that it's a shame they're gone. i feel like all the integrity in the world is dying along with people who literally had their hands in the soil.
alternately, it will be interesting to see where ethical and moral bankrupcy leads the world. i hope i see it in my lifetime. and you musn't react strongly to the words "ethics" and "morals"...because although they are overused by people (ahem religious right ahem) who know nothing about TRUE and PURE motivations they are two things that are essential in truly leading a good life.
the word "ambitious" used to be negative. there is a reason for that.
this tangent is just going to lead into a conversation with myself, and i really have to give props to my ol' friends reginald vertigo and anemia jackson. without them i could not have managed this disjointed rambling.
jesus is my boyfriend.
he's totally ripped.
don't tell his dad.
went to mke last night and we went to "at random" and had cocktails. fawning had to halt for a phone call. normally i am not a bastard cell phone user, in fact i hardly ever pick up my phone, but whenever i see my mothers number i answer. it was my sister telling me my great grandma neva died. she could speak and write three languages and had amazing stories. my favorite one was when she told us about the first time she saw fireworks. she was sitting on a fence. at that moment mortality must have been the furthest thing from her mind. i was glad i had a drink in front of me.
so in the last month i've lost both great grandparents and pushkins the cat. lost isn't a good word...i don't feel a loss. i think that's the wrong way to think about death.
if anything, i have such an affection for who they both were and all the things they have seen that it's a shame they're gone. i feel like all the integrity in the world is dying along with people who literally had their hands in the soil.
alternately, it will be interesting to see where ethical and moral bankrupcy leads the world. i hope i see it in my lifetime. and you musn't react strongly to the words "ethics" and "morals"...because although they are overused by people (ahem religious right ahem) who know nothing about TRUE and PURE motivations they are two things that are essential in truly leading a good life.
the word "ambitious" used to be negative. there is a reason for that.
this tangent is just going to lead into a conversation with myself, and i really have to give props to my ol' friends reginald vertigo and anemia jackson. without them i could not have managed this disjointed rambling.
jesus is my boyfriend.
he's totally ripped.
don't tell his dad.
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
I never liked "At Random". Check out "Bryants" if you haven't already. The address is 1579 S. 9th st. I dig it.
my love comes next week!!!!!!!!