Did you ever have a moment when you looked up at the moon and you were startled at how much it seemed like the moon was staring at you?
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How come being poor doesn't equal being skinny. I think the crappier the food is that you eat, the thinner you should be.
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I talked to my latest ex this afternoon while doing my laundry. We actually had a really good, long talk. He told me all about proposing to his girlfriend, their marriage in Feb. (which I will not be attending), his trip to Guatemala & Beliz, etc. Then I talked to Avery, his 4 year old. It totally ripped my heart out. I thought that, since Tyler was seeing Anna now, that Avery had totally forgotten about me... but he said that he missed me, wanted me to visit, told me that I was one of his three mommies, and when we got off the phone, he told me that he loved me. I know, this is really interesting to you guys.. but gah.. it kills.
I really want to be interested in meeting Anna, since she will be Avery's mother.. but that's just it.. she's going to be Avery's mother. After I spent nearly a year taking care of him and Tyler.... I don't know.. it's not like I ever wanted to be with Tyler again... and I really wanted Avery to have a good mother in his life.. it just hurts. The thought of seeing her all smiling with Avery hurts. The thought of their sex being better than ours (Tyler's greatest shortfall is his lack of sensitivity about everything) hurts. I don't fucking know why. It just does.
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So.. anyway.... oh.. forget it. I'm going to bed.
Sorry about the bad taste.. I'll update later.
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How come being poor doesn't equal being skinny. I think the crappier the food is that you eat, the thinner you should be.
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I talked to my latest ex this afternoon while doing my laundry. We actually had a really good, long talk. He told me all about proposing to his girlfriend, their marriage in Feb. (which I will not be attending), his trip to Guatemala & Beliz, etc. Then I talked to Avery, his 4 year old. It totally ripped my heart out. I thought that, since Tyler was seeing Anna now, that Avery had totally forgotten about me... but he said that he missed me, wanted me to visit, told me that I was one of his three mommies, and when we got off the phone, he told me that he loved me. I know, this is really interesting to you guys.. but gah.. it kills.
I really want to be interested in meeting Anna, since she will be Avery's mother.. but that's just it.. she's going to be Avery's mother. After I spent nearly a year taking care of him and Tyler.... I don't know.. it's not like I ever wanted to be with Tyler again... and I really wanted Avery to have a good mother in his life.. it just hurts. The thought of seeing her all smiling with Avery hurts. The thought of their sex being better than ours (Tyler's greatest shortfall is his lack of sensitivity about everything) hurts. I don't fucking know why. It just does.
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So.. anyway.... oh.. forget it. I'm going to bed.
Sorry about the bad taste.. I'll update later.
VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
I'm glad that high quality food doesn't make me fatter, it just makes me healthier. Though I don't think my genetics are capable of becoming fat.
It is very natural to feel loss in such a situation. If you'd like a helpful meditation to do then try this. Write down all your feelings of loss on a piece of paper. Then burn that piece of paper allowing the flames to transmute and transform your emotions to a higher vibrational energy. Then get another piece of paper and write down all the positive things you can think of about the situation and how good it will be for everyone involved. Then keep that piece of paper around for awhile and reread it if you start to feel sad again.
Peace, love, and healing