So I cut my knee at a picnic sunday. It's really small and barely noticable, both visually and from a pain standpoint but it's a bleeder. After I got home I had some shorts on and was kneeling on carpet and that tore the scab off so there were tons of little blood stains everywhere. Thankfully they clean up easily but I'm still finding them. Wounds come back to haunt you.
My ex Meg has a MySpace page which I've known about for a few months but I didn't want to make contact because things ended so badly for us after we broke up. There is no way to emphasize that so enough to understand the tragedy that was our post-break-up relationship. We both had our problems and were each to blame but how it ended hurt. And sometimes still does. I tend to blame myself for a lot of stuff and obsess over things in life that I have/had little control over.
Anyway, she started posting stuff there and yesterday wondered about Emily who we both worked with and who I (peripherally) stay in touch with. So I bit the bullet -- I literally spent an hour debating whether I should hit that "send" button. Would she be mad at me for trying to contact her after all this time? Did she still hate me? She'd moved on, why hadn't I? It's a valid question. I have as much as I can but I tend to be trapped in the tragedies of my past. I almost made Emily get in touch with her and would have made sure I wasn't mentioned but I didn't -- and pointed her to Emily myself.
Her reply:
From: meg
Date: Sep 25, 2006 2:40 AM
Hey- really long time no see! God... So where to start?? I was such a young thing when we dated and i've always wanted to tell u i'm sorry! I was a bitch to you after we broke up!!! I was really mad on some level that you didn't fix me or take away my past... So anyway, I'm really sorry about how i acted. I'm an old lady now- or at least a lot older than 19- and have refined my relationship skills. So- if u want to tell me fuck off- i'll understand but i'm sending u a friend request
I didn't need an apology but it's nice to know she doesn't hate me. I needed that. It feels good. Wounds come back to haunt you but they don't always have to hurt. At least not as much.
My ex Meg has a MySpace page which I've known about for a few months but I didn't want to make contact because things ended so badly for us after we broke up. There is no way to emphasize that so enough to understand the tragedy that was our post-break-up relationship. We both had our problems and were each to blame but how it ended hurt. And sometimes still does. I tend to blame myself for a lot of stuff and obsess over things in life that I have/had little control over.
Anyway, she started posting stuff there and yesterday wondered about Emily who we both worked with and who I (peripherally) stay in touch with. So I bit the bullet -- I literally spent an hour debating whether I should hit that "send" button. Would she be mad at me for trying to contact her after all this time? Did she still hate me? She'd moved on, why hadn't I? It's a valid question. I have as much as I can but I tend to be trapped in the tragedies of my past. I almost made Emily get in touch with her and would have made sure I wasn't mentioned but I didn't -- and pointed her to Emily myself.
Her reply:
From: meg
Date: Sep 25, 2006 2:40 AM
Hey- really long time no see! God... So where to start?? I was such a young thing when we dated and i've always wanted to tell u i'm sorry! I was a bitch to you after we broke up!!! I was really mad on some level that you didn't fix me or take away my past... So anyway, I'm really sorry about how i acted. I'm an old lady now- or at least a lot older than 19- and have refined my relationship skills. So- if u want to tell me fuck off- i'll understand but i'm sending u a friend request
I didn't need an apology but it's nice to know she doesn't hate me. I needed that. It feels good. Wounds come back to haunt you but they don't always have to hurt. At least not as much.