claireabelle

i met stefanie in seventh grade. we became best friends almost immediately. we spent every day together. every possible minute. eighth grade came and i brought another friend in between us, on accident. we started hanging out and they got closer and i was nearly out of the picture. i regained both relationships that summer. ninth grade came and stefanie and i went to a different high school than everyone else. we were all we had. she became friends with people there and i slowly started losing her. more friends. i started going out with jimmy. jimmy cheated on me. we broke up. six months later stefanie and jimmy started going out. i had and still have no problem with it. they've been together for two years now. over the course of the two years before they started going out and these past two, we've grown almost completely apart. when we see eachother we say hi and are cordial, but she never calls me when i go home to visit. i haven't seen her since thanksgiving, before that, graduation. she doesn't seem to mind. i send her messages asking how she's doing and she doesn't reply to me, but she does to everyone else. it really hurts, you know? i've put so much time and effort into this friendship but nothing has come out of it, and as much as i want to just cut all ties and pretty much just say screw you, i can't bring myself to do it. i guess i'm too nice, or have too big of a heart or something. or maybe i just care too much about keeping relationships intact...because i've seen so many go down the drain. i really need to stop whatever it is i'm doing wrong. i seriously can't function without thinking about it. about everything. my daily life is now consumed with crazy thoughts about...well...everything. and it sucks. i'm out of ideas and i don't know what i'm trying to say. it's late.