11:00 Wednesday Morning
Well, I am awake. I guess you are too because you are reading this. I want to thank all of the people who gave me such wonderful comments on my pics. You guys sure know how to make a girl feel loved.
So, it is today that I choose to be serious and vent. If you don't care about what I have to bitch about then you may want to stop reading now. If you do care then that's great.
Ok, time for the year of 2003 in review.
JAN 2003 My grandmother on my mother's side comes home from Xmas vacation. She suffers an aneurism and is hospitalized.She remains in a coma until she passes away on the 6th.
FEB 2003 At this point my life is just sucking in general, I hate school and everyone there hates me because I'm a "freak".Well, fuck them too.
MARCH 2003 My mother gets a wild hair up her ass and decides that she is going to move back to Norfolk. In April, before I graduate, leaving me in Midlothian until June. I totally hate her at this point and begin to feel that she is losing her mind. Also at this point people who I thought were friends are beginning to turn out to be the people they wrote the saying "With friends like you who needs enemies" about.
APRIL 2003 I turn 18. OOooh, did anyone give a shit, not really. I began to realize that I really didn't either. As I help my mother pack her things into a U-Haul less than a week after my birthday, I get the notion that this life is some kind of cruel punishment. 2 days later I start a waitressing job. Also, I confront my would-be back-stabbers and basically tell them if they say one more thing behind my back I will rip off their lower jaw and shove it up their ass. About this time, I learn that my best friend (who also happens to be my ex-girlfriend and part time lover) has decided she wants to join the army. At this time I begin to think that I am the only sane person left in the world.
MAY 2003 There is less than a month of school left. I know that I should be feeling relieved but I have not made any attempts to further myself by going to college or making any kind of plans. I think that maybe I shouldn't have fucked around throughout high school. Harvard has become a pipe-dream that I will never forgive myself for ruining. I hate all of the idiots around me in school that got accepted into college because Daddy is some bigwig at some company who makes yearly "donations" to said school, when everyone knows they don't even know what 2+2 is. In addition to all of my self loathing and loathing in general, I am told that I am failing English. Without it I will not graduate. Great.
JUNE 2003 I have stayed up until the wee hours of the morning every night busting my ass to get ahead in my classes so I can graduate. I find out that I have worked hard enough to bring all of my grades up and that I will be able to get the Hell out of high school. At the same tme I am burned out and ready to commit mass murder. I decide that after graduation my boyfriend and I will move back to Norfolk, so in the midst of all the craziness of the everyday mundane tasks, I am also packing all of our shit. I am then told that I can only bring one of my cats with me and I will be forced to leave the other three in Midlo. I really hate people at this point.
JULY 2003 I get to Norfolk without much fanfare and set about getting a job. In the meantime, my mother heads up to PA for the 4th of July to settle my grandmother's estate and see my grandfather who is hospitalized with alzehaimers. The day she leaves I go and get my tongue pierced. It was a beautiful pain. 2 weeks later my Aunt Karla calls my mother and I to tell us that my grandfather has paseed away in his sleep. I go to the beach later that day and end up getting a ferocious sunburn. Will this shitty year ever end?
AUGUST 2003 I am out at a Pagan function and run into my good friend from childhood. It has been one of the best things to happen to me in a long time. She tells me she is getting married in October and she wants me to be there, possibly things are looking up. Not long after that, my boyfriend and I have a handfasting ceremony, which basically means we promised our souls to each other. It was beautiful. I get to thinking that maybe things aren't as bad as they seem. My step-brother also comes home from Afganistan.
SEPTEMBER 2003 Blah, I say, Blah. We are at the same pagan function every Monday night and one night in the beginning of the month, I come home and have a vision of a hurricane hitting VA. A week later the weather channel tells us we will be gtting a hurricane. All I can say is Holy Shit and duh! My mom asks me and the boyfriend to come and stay with her for the hurricane because she lives within seeing distance of the ocean and she is afraid to be alone. Of course we do. She thern offers to let us move in, so we do. everything is A-Ok. This month also marks me and my boyfriend Bill's 1 year anniversary, how he has put up with me for this long I don't know. I think he should be considered for sainthood.
OCTOBER 2003 We get an invitation from my friends' family to go to the Ren Fest here. Not only that, but instead of just attending her wedding, she wants me to be a bridesmaid. GREAT!!!! We go to Harvest Faire, have a wonderful time and the day after her wedding, while out to breakfast with her family the vehicle they are in is rear-ended and she nearly snaps her neck. Things are looking shitty again. We are in a belly dance troupe, and because of the accident, she couldn't perform at the Faire and I the new troupe member who was not supposed to perform yet is asked to take her place. We brought down the house! We get back to my Mom's and everything is ok for a few days, but out of nowhere she flips out and assults both me and Bill, then kicks us out. We end up at my best friends house.
NOVEMBER 2003 Ok, we have no money in the bank and I can't find a job. This blows. There are 7 people in the house and we have no privacy. We love everybody, especially my friends crazy cool laidback Dad. We go out and get into all kinds of shit and have a blast. But still, we have no money and sleep on the living room floor. I haven't talked to my mom since she kicked us out. My friend is beginning to turn a bit cold towards me as her family warms up.
DECEMBER 2003 I finally talk to my mother,. She says she is sorry, but I take everything with a grain of salt. I still can't find a job. I have to find a job, because right now if I don't get some privacy, I'm gonna scream. I haven't been able to walk around naked in months. I go to Midlo to visit some friends and have a great time. We go to my Dad's for Xmas Eve and have a blast, then we go to my Mom's for Xmas and have a great time. We did the Yule thing at our house here and it was pretty cool too. As New Year's approaches, I can only hope that the next year is better. My best friend is icy towards me like it's Alsaka. Things are getting bad.
And that's it. A year in my life, I wonder if I sold the rights if it would make a good book. I have hope for this year though. Things were so bad last year that they can only get better now. I have hope and that is what keeps me going. That and the great people I have begun to get to know on this site.
Well, I am awake. I guess you are too because you are reading this. I want to thank all of the people who gave me such wonderful comments on my pics. You guys sure know how to make a girl feel loved.
So, it is today that I choose to be serious and vent. If you don't care about what I have to bitch about then you may want to stop reading now. If you do care then that's great.
Ok, time for the year of 2003 in review.
JAN 2003 My grandmother on my mother's side comes home from Xmas vacation. She suffers an aneurism and is hospitalized.She remains in a coma until she passes away on the 6th.
FEB 2003 At this point my life is just sucking in general, I hate school and everyone there hates me because I'm a "freak".Well, fuck them too.
MARCH 2003 My mother gets a wild hair up her ass and decides that she is going to move back to Norfolk. In April, before I graduate, leaving me in Midlothian until June. I totally hate her at this point and begin to feel that she is losing her mind. Also at this point people who I thought were friends are beginning to turn out to be the people they wrote the saying "With friends like you who needs enemies" about.
APRIL 2003 I turn 18. OOooh, did anyone give a shit, not really. I began to realize that I really didn't either. As I help my mother pack her things into a U-Haul less than a week after my birthday, I get the notion that this life is some kind of cruel punishment. 2 days later I start a waitressing job. Also, I confront my would-be back-stabbers and basically tell them if they say one more thing behind my back I will rip off their lower jaw and shove it up their ass. About this time, I learn that my best friend (who also happens to be my ex-girlfriend and part time lover) has decided she wants to join the army. At this time I begin to think that I am the only sane person left in the world.
MAY 2003 There is less than a month of school left. I know that I should be feeling relieved but I have not made any attempts to further myself by going to college or making any kind of plans. I think that maybe I shouldn't have fucked around throughout high school. Harvard has become a pipe-dream that I will never forgive myself for ruining. I hate all of the idiots around me in school that got accepted into college because Daddy is some bigwig at some company who makes yearly "donations" to said school, when everyone knows they don't even know what 2+2 is. In addition to all of my self loathing and loathing in general, I am told that I am failing English. Without it I will not graduate. Great.
JUNE 2003 I have stayed up until the wee hours of the morning every night busting my ass to get ahead in my classes so I can graduate. I find out that I have worked hard enough to bring all of my grades up and that I will be able to get the Hell out of high school. At the same tme I am burned out and ready to commit mass murder. I decide that after graduation my boyfriend and I will move back to Norfolk, so in the midst of all the craziness of the everyday mundane tasks, I am also packing all of our shit. I am then told that I can only bring one of my cats with me and I will be forced to leave the other three in Midlo. I really hate people at this point.
JULY 2003 I get to Norfolk without much fanfare and set about getting a job. In the meantime, my mother heads up to PA for the 4th of July to settle my grandmother's estate and see my grandfather who is hospitalized with alzehaimers. The day she leaves I go and get my tongue pierced. It was a beautiful pain. 2 weeks later my Aunt Karla calls my mother and I to tell us that my grandfather has paseed away in his sleep. I go to the beach later that day and end up getting a ferocious sunburn. Will this shitty year ever end?
AUGUST 2003 I am out at a Pagan function and run into my good friend from childhood. It has been one of the best things to happen to me in a long time. She tells me she is getting married in October and she wants me to be there, possibly things are looking up. Not long after that, my boyfriend and I have a handfasting ceremony, which basically means we promised our souls to each other. It was beautiful. I get to thinking that maybe things aren't as bad as they seem. My step-brother also comes home from Afganistan.
SEPTEMBER 2003 Blah, I say, Blah. We are at the same pagan function every Monday night and one night in the beginning of the month, I come home and have a vision of a hurricane hitting VA. A week later the weather channel tells us we will be gtting a hurricane. All I can say is Holy Shit and duh! My mom asks me and the boyfriend to come and stay with her for the hurricane because she lives within seeing distance of the ocean and she is afraid to be alone. Of course we do. She thern offers to let us move in, so we do. everything is A-Ok. This month also marks me and my boyfriend Bill's 1 year anniversary, how he has put up with me for this long I don't know. I think he should be considered for sainthood.
OCTOBER 2003 We get an invitation from my friends' family to go to the Ren Fest here. Not only that, but instead of just attending her wedding, she wants me to be a bridesmaid. GREAT!!!! We go to Harvest Faire, have a wonderful time and the day after her wedding, while out to breakfast with her family the vehicle they are in is rear-ended and she nearly snaps her neck. Things are looking shitty again. We are in a belly dance troupe, and because of the accident, she couldn't perform at the Faire and I the new troupe member who was not supposed to perform yet is asked to take her place. We brought down the house! We get back to my Mom's and everything is ok for a few days, but out of nowhere she flips out and assults both me and Bill, then kicks us out. We end up at my best friends house.
NOVEMBER 2003 Ok, we have no money in the bank and I can't find a job. This blows. There are 7 people in the house and we have no privacy. We love everybody, especially my friends crazy cool laidback Dad. We go out and get into all kinds of shit and have a blast. But still, we have no money and sleep on the living room floor. I haven't talked to my mom since she kicked us out. My friend is beginning to turn a bit cold towards me as her family warms up.
DECEMBER 2003 I finally talk to my mother,. She says she is sorry, but I take everything with a grain of salt. I still can't find a job. I have to find a job, because right now if I don't get some privacy, I'm gonna scream. I haven't been able to walk around naked in months. I go to Midlo to visit some friends and have a great time. We go to my Dad's for Xmas Eve and have a blast, then we go to my Mom's for Xmas and have a great time. We did the Yule thing at our house here and it was pretty cool too. As New Year's approaches, I can only hope that the next year is better. My best friend is icy towards me like it's Alsaka. Things are getting bad.
And that's it. A year in my life, I wonder if I sold the rights if it would make a good book. I have hope for this year though. Things were so bad last year that they can only get better now. I have hope and that is what keeps me going. That and the great people I have begun to get to know on this site.
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
lunna:
Wouldn't it be cool if in 2004 we could actually hang out sometime? I hope there is a way to at some point, cause you are such a wonderful & beautiful girl.
supremepizzaman:
well...i didnt read it all, but i read enough. not sure what to say, so ill say what ill always say. it could be worse. 