cjloveskt

i really dunno what to say here..so ill just write like i do in my journal.hey everyone.. im sitting at cjs (like always) and im about to smoke a ciggarette. i got my check today and im about to pay rent and get sumthin to eat. i worked at virgin but i fucked up cause i was depressed for awhile and couldnt even get outta the bed to eat or take a shower,let alone go to work.and i have no insurance.so plan is to get free care and all..fix myself up..go to my doctor and all.and then im probably gonna get this new job in boston with this super girl andrea. and i get paid 50 more cents than virgin and only have like 20 hrs a week which is awesome..so i can start going to school.i realized it was ok that i took awhile off of school because id rather be a lil hellion and lazy ass now then like ya know in a year from now when ive only done a year of college.so i guess work is good for now.im gonna pick up an app at bhcc or go to nscc cause im already a student there, i just dont have ant classes.lol.and then i just gotta fill out another fafsa. which will be much easier now that im 18..ill probably take night classes.and then ill be happy.and ill know my plan for life.cjs definitely gonna be in them. as long as things keep going good. and itll happen.cause i want it too.and things usually go how i want them too.im still going through this depressive-angry phase.but i think ill get over it soon.it might be because im paranoid and it might also be because at the end of this month my mom wouldve been gone for 2 years.which bothers me realllll bad still.usually i cant start talking about her without crying.my coping thingy is way fucked up cause it feels as raw as if it just happened yesterday. and its like that anytime i think about her..
o well
umm.yeah.i love cj.alot.and i love his kisses and all that great stuff.<br><center>