people are so amazingly different,
each one of us.
i emailed an acquaintance in arizona whom i have not shared correspondence with in too long.
her life is rolling along. she wants to go back to school and is a marketing director for a theatre association in phoenix.
i'm very very happy for her.
another acquaintance, who lives in california, stole away over the memorial day weekend to get married.
in march, she and her wonderful man discovered they were pregnant, and since they'd already been discussing the tying of the knot, the "bun in the oven" was further incentive.
they went to vegas.
she wrote "I am sooo glad we got married the way we did. We were both grinning like goofballs throughout the whole thing. It was just so fun and Elvis was such a kick. It was like we were marrying our inner children, instead of the somber and serious wedding we could have had with all our families present. After the seriousness of the last few months, it was just what we needed."
what strikes me as the most amazing is that they felt like they were marrying their inner children ... that they grinned and their eyes shone.
it makes my heart do little flip-flops, that they'll be spending their life together without abandoning themselves.
other associates are getting married. there is a party to celebrate in brooklyn that i hope i may be invited to. a very close girlfriend is possibly going to be ordained so that she may officiate.
unreal.
but i'm very happy for those girls and boys, as well.
cute remembrance of time i spent with them while i visited new york - K asked S and i to breakfast and we declined, so she and W went to check it out, but being easter the place was closed... S and i ran into them on the way for bagels and W decided to join us. K doesn't like bagels, so she pleaded for W to stay home with her and he insisted that he needed breakfast and coffee. the exchange between the two of them, and the way the struggle for power played out perfectly was insightful for me.
i am scheduled to help with other friends' wedding on july 3rd. they asked me to meet and greet because they can't imagine anyone else doing it.
i agreed, of course. i'm going to enlist the assistance of a friend here because he is just as friendly and i'm sure i may be distracted and disenchanted.
it's strange how i'm feeling so surrounded by solitude, the girl who wrote about being married in vegas mentioned it.
and, like she said, i love the solitude i can keep to myself.
it's just so adult to have my friends being married and looking to have children and losing parents and...
sure, like we're kids ourselves, but
i don't know.
bliss all around.
yet it's so interesting the way we worry. not really interesting in the good way... not so far as intriguing
S reminds me that all it does is produce anxiety.
i'll admit i'm a little frightened, but i've had this adrenaline in my blood for months now. before i visited new york, moreso upon returning, now that i'm gearing up again, i will while i'm preparing for school,
i just feel very positive...
i know i am the eternal optimist, basically. i have my moments, i suppose...
but it's right.
worrying only does me good so far as it spurs me into the next preparation.
we do what we have in front of us.
my brain isn't working right today, though.
i feel like my sinuses might collapse onto it and i'm squinting from the pressure.
yucks.
mmm.
anyway.
i guess i just wanted to get that out.
or something.
i should've been listening.
i was telling someone the other day, after discussing a cute movie with him,
that it's so amazing (i use that word too often) how our dreams change as we grow.
in a couple years i will have accomplished something i've been dreaming of for many times as long.
and i'm sure that in the time i grow between now and then, i will set my sights differently still.
how can we ever be sure of anything?
we just kindof have to go with it, right?
and then i think of allison and her need for guarantee and my conviction that nothing is truly certain other than what i consider to be my heart's calling (and i will follow it to the ends of the earth) - though it's a crazy little creature with no interest in cooperating with reason most of the time.
but i think my mind and my heart are quite the couple, if only i could learn to hold each of their hands and swing like a child between them on the sidewalk that is this sentience.
~-~
there's this song on the radio
oh, ooOOOh, for the longest time...
i think it's billy joel or something.
it reminds me of the first friend i made in colorado springs.
i had just moved there, was going to lincoln elementary school for the sixth grade...
her name was irene.
we would sit together and sing - i remember this song. she was good people.
that's the year i was made fun of for the first time because of the fact that my girlish figure grew in so soon.
that was the year i lost my sled down the waterfall and under the ice, the year i learned to ice-skate, the year i first kissed a boy, the year my basketball team was undefeated, the year i broke my elbow, the year i told my mother i hated her, the year i knew i'd spend my life in love with nerds because they are cooler, ...
life is strange.
strange strange love.
part of this crazy is that i hear something and i wonder about what exact "yellow brick road" i'm on.
i wonder about all the influence in my life and how my future lies beyond it, thank you elton john.
i think about what oz is exactly and what i suspect it can show me, that emerald empire.
i wonder about the dreams i really have and what life works out to be and how i hope to attain it.
i wonder about those slippers and just what my heart calls for me to do.
i think about leaving, i think about how i fall asleep in the flower field, i think about how, as miss jane wrote from where i don't know, that oz never did give nothin' to the tin man that he didn't, didn't, already have.
dreams. the golden road, a golden rule, home, what takes her there are the her bloody feet, a clack of her heels and a float-away balloon. in hot pursuit.
natch.
fleetwood mac plays from the electronic box at perfect timing.
back to the velvet underground, lace, paper flowers, the gypsy that i was, and it all comes down to you, lightning strikes, it lights up the night, freedom with a little fear, only love, if a child was enough, and she is dancing away, just a wish, a memory
and what does it tell me?
and nothing is guaranteed.
if nothing is guaranteed then what i have is nothing (which i kindof figured already) which leaves me nothing to lose.
which leaves me everything
what the hell am i doing?
go go go
each one of us.
i emailed an acquaintance in arizona whom i have not shared correspondence with in too long.
her life is rolling along. she wants to go back to school and is a marketing director for a theatre association in phoenix.
i'm very very happy for her.
another acquaintance, who lives in california, stole away over the memorial day weekend to get married.
in march, she and her wonderful man discovered they were pregnant, and since they'd already been discussing the tying of the knot, the "bun in the oven" was further incentive.
they went to vegas.
she wrote "I am sooo glad we got married the way we did. We were both grinning like goofballs throughout the whole thing. It was just so fun and Elvis was such a kick. It was like we were marrying our inner children, instead of the somber and serious wedding we could have had with all our families present. After the seriousness of the last few months, it was just what we needed."
what strikes me as the most amazing is that they felt like they were marrying their inner children ... that they grinned and their eyes shone.
it makes my heart do little flip-flops, that they'll be spending their life together without abandoning themselves.
other associates are getting married. there is a party to celebrate in brooklyn that i hope i may be invited to. a very close girlfriend is possibly going to be ordained so that she may officiate.
unreal.
but i'm very happy for those girls and boys, as well.
cute remembrance of time i spent with them while i visited new york - K asked S and i to breakfast and we declined, so she and W went to check it out, but being easter the place was closed... S and i ran into them on the way for bagels and W decided to join us. K doesn't like bagels, so she pleaded for W to stay home with her and he insisted that he needed breakfast and coffee. the exchange between the two of them, and the way the struggle for power played out perfectly was insightful for me.
i am scheduled to help with other friends' wedding on july 3rd. they asked me to meet and greet because they can't imagine anyone else doing it.
i agreed, of course. i'm going to enlist the assistance of a friend here because he is just as friendly and i'm sure i may be distracted and disenchanted.
it's strange how i'm feeling so surrounded by solitude, the girl who wrote about being married in vegas mentioned it.
and, like she said, i love the solitude i can keep to myself.
it's just so adult to have my friends being married and looking to have children and losing parents and...
sure, like we're kids ourselves, but
i don't know.
bliss all around.
yet it's so interesting the way we worry. not really interesting in the good way... not so far as intriguing
S reminds me that all it does is produce anxiety.
i'll admit i'm a little frightened, but i've had this adrenaline in my blood for months now. before i visited new york, moreso upon returning, now that i'm gearing up again, i will while i'm preparing for school,
i just feel very positive...
i know i am the eternal optimist, basically. i have my moments, i suppose...
but it's right.
worrying only does me good so far as it spurs me into the next preparation.
we do what we have in front of us.
my brain isn't working right today, though.
i feel like my sinuses might collapse onto it and i'm squinting from the pressure.
yucks.
mmm.
anyway.
i guess i just wanted to get that out.
or something.
i should've been listening.
i was telling someone the other day, after discussing a cute movie with him,
that it's so amazing (i use that word too often) how our dreams change as we grow.
in a couple years i will have accomplished something i've been dreaming of for many times as long.
and i'm sure that in the time i grow between now and then, i will set my sights differently still.
how can we ever be sure of anything?
we just kindof have to go with it, right?
and then i think of allison and her need for guarantee and my conviction that nothing is truly certain other than what i consider to be my heart's calling (and i will follow it to the ends of the earth) - though it's a crazy little creature with no interest in cooperating with reason most of the time.
but i think my mind and my heart are quite the couple, if only i could learn to hold each of their hands and swing like a child between them on the sidewalk that is this sentience.
~-~
there's this song on the radio
oh, ooOOOh, for the longest time...
i think it's billy joel or something.
it reminds me of the first friend i made in colorado springs.
i had just moved there, was going to lincoln elementary school for the sixth grade...
her name was irene.
we would sit together and sing - i remember this song. she was good people.
that's the year i was made fun of for the first time because of the fact that my girlish figure grew in so soon.
that was the year i lost my sled down the waterfall and under the ice, the year i learned to ice-skate, the year i first kissed a boy, the year my basketball team was undefeated, the year i broke my elbow, the year i told my mother i hated her, the year i knew i'd spend my life in love with nerds because they are cooler, ...
life is strange.
strange strange love.
part of this crazy is that i hear something and i wonder about what exact "yellow brick road" i'm on.
i wonder about all the influence in my life and how my future lies beyond it, thank you elton john.
i think about what oz is exactly and what i suspect it can show me, that emerald empire.
i wonder about the dreams i really have and what life works out to be and how i hope to attain it.
i wonder about those slippers and just what my heart calls for me to do.
i think about leaving, i think about how i fall asleep in the flower field, i think about how, as miss jane wrote from where i don't know, that oz never did give nothin' to the tin man that he didn't, didn't, already have.
dreams. the golden road, a golden rule, home, what takes her there are the her bloody feet, a clack of her heels and a float-away balloon. in hot pursuit.
natch.
fleetwood mac plays from the electronic box at perfect timing.
back to the velvet underground, lace, paper flowers, the gypsy that i was, and it all comes down to you, lightning strikes, it lights up the night, freedom with a little fear, only love, if a child was enough, and she is dancing away, just a wish, a memory
and what does it tell me?
and nothing is guaranteed.
if nothing is guaranteed then what i have is nothing (which i kindof figured already) which leaves me nothing to lose.
which leaves me everything
what the hell am i doing?
go go go
vim:
wash your rosey nosey...my lil posy.