citrus

goodness gracious, i'm on kauai.

but it's my last day. i leave late tonight, back in nyc mid-day tomorrow.

my girlfriend is sleeping. we camped again last night and she, apparently, didn't get any rest.

it's really amazing here, but i can't say that i've had the BEST TIME EVAR because of so much drama.



i'm anxious to get home.
it's funny to me the way that happens, though - i'm in "paradise" and i am so looking forward to flying back into the icy grey of the big apple and slinking up the stairs to my tiny little nest.

so much life is falling into place.
i'm still just in awe of how things come together and how eyes/minds open more and more ... some of the best times are when you're stretched to what you'd perceived to be your limit and then when "it" finally snaps, you're still in tact.
there's this imagery i get about that, about it being my real body (all the psyche issues, etcetera) and pulling, pulling, tensing, relaxing, just pressure until the moment when there really is nothing left for me to do and it all falls apart but after the daze i stumble halfway over to my feet again and pat my body still all together.

mleh.

my thanksgiving dinner was great.
we had another shindig similar to last year but in brooklyn this time.
i missed my mom and brother and all of them, but us girlfriends got quite the lovely meal together and many friends came to join and after dinner and into the third bottle of champagne, i went with two lovelies to gather up my "boyfriend" from the subway station and escort him back to our festivities. that resulted in some pretty sexy-hot stuff on the roof and i feel good about where i might be with the man.

i met him at the office. before my department relocated to the other side of the river, he called needing help with some work and so ensued the back and forth over the phone by professional ways. then came some hard-core flirting and his insistance that i join him for drinks as a thank you ... apparently he felt like i'd pleasantly done for him in forty-five minutes what would have taken him hours and hours. we emailed and talked the work lines ... there were some pretty funny instances but mostly i guess ice-breakers even though i was still nervous to meet him or whatever.
but the pace has been really great - in the ... month (?) that i've known him we've seen each other probably five or six times. there was sex the night before i came here but next time i swear i'll be closer to sober.
he's mostly just REALLY interesting and easy for me but still a challenge because we like to banter, it seems. i'm amused, for certain. and he's handsome. and he has his shit together and i can both admire him and feel equal but in completely different ways, somehow. and i think maybe he just humors me.
he hopes to get a project in Paris when what he's currently working on is finished up, so some of my comfort is also in knowing that this probably won't last forever, if not very long at all. but i like him. and i'm very much enjoying him. and even though i'm a tiny bit afraid, i'm all in it.

there are roosters everywhere here.
i kindof actually like waking up to their cockadoodle-doo's.
we've mostly been camping, but a couple of nights that we've stayed here at eeb's i've heard this really sick sounding boy-hen ... it's more like cockadoodle-ew the way he starts off good and then scratches it completely in that last syllable.
funny.

i have errands to run while she's resting.
life here is so different.
we shower in the back yard, turning the water heater on and off as needed. the toilet room was added on recently, but you can see through the cracks in the walls ... we use the kitchen sink for everything else. it's not bad, but the termites are scary ... her roommate raises rabbits for his own food and has this massive garden that he keeps and sustains himself on and supplies local restaurants with.

snorkeling was fun. watching the outriggers was beautiful. i've met lots of people and shrugged off lots of boys. i had a little tryst, but it's all under wraps - funny about that is how the guy's name is the same as my guy's name and spelled the same and all ... just silly and coincidental.
and i haven't been burned.
the drama and b.s. with the girl have been almost more than i can handle and has definitely dampened my fun, but i've learned a lot about the person and the relationship and myself, of course, and i think i'll make it out okay, even if there is loss involved.

i'm hungry.
i have stuff to do.
that's all for now.

maybe i'll be back again in no time.

cheers...