My brain's a cliff and my heart's the bitter buffalo.
Well, that was a strange weekend.
Friday: I was going to just hang out, watch a movie, read some. Instead, I got a random party thrown at my place. This isn't as impressive as it sounds--I was fairly bored for the duration of it.
Saturday: Wake around 11 having had less than three hours sleep, I spend more than six hours cleaning like a motherfucker. I've never seen my kitchen so clean (literally...it was a fuckin' mess when I moved in).
Then: Doomtree and Heiruspecs played on campus, a show that ended up being free after no one bought tickets. As much as I hate this school, they occassionally do incredibly cool things.
And so, on no sleep, a post-concert high, and generally exhausted, we proceeded to drink for five hours. Last night was quite awesome. And there was other stuff, but I'm not getting into all that.
I describe it this way: I find myself very impacted by a line from Six Degrees of Separation, one Stockard Channing's character says. She asks "How much of your life can you account for?" My answer used to be "None of it." Lately I've come to the conclusion that the more accurate answer is "Less and less every day."
I like change. I love it--but goddamn, how many major paradigm shifts can a guy take? For most of the last year I was driven crazy by the constant change, but in the past two months there's been more alterations in my life, in myself, than in the past four years.
And I'm just rolling with it. Maybe I've gotten used to not knowing which way is up. I don't know. Nothing is this life makes sense anymore. There's nothing constant, nothing reliable.
Well, that was a strange weekend.
Friday: I was going to just hang out, watch a movie, read some. Instead, I got a random party thrown at my place. This isn't as impressive as it sounds--I was fairly bored for the duration of it.
Saturday: Wake around 11 having had less than three hours sleep, I spend more than six hours cleaning like a motherfucker. I've never seen my kitchen so clean (literally...it was a fuckin' mess when I moved in).
Then: Doomtree and Heiruspecs played on campus, a show that ended up being free after no one bought tickets. As much as I hate this school, they occassionally do incredibly cool things.
And so, on no sleep, a post-concert high, and generally exhausted, we proceeded to drink for five hours. Last night was quite awesome. And there was other stuff, but I'm not getting into all that.
I describe it this way: I find myself very impacted by a line from Six Degrees of Separation, one Stockard Channing's character says. She asks "How much of your life can you account for?" My answer used to be "None of it." Lately I've come to the conclusion that the more accurate answer is "Less and less every day."
I like change. I love it--but goddamn, how many major paradigm shifts can a guy take? For most of the last year I was driven crazy by the constant change, but in the past two months there's been more alterations in my life, in myself, than in the past four years.
And I'm just rolling with it. Maybe I've gotten used to not knowing which way is up. I don't know. Nothing is this life makes sense anymore. There's nothing constant, nothing reliable.
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re: output. i was flipping through a magazine today, looking at all the hundreds of ads for all the indie bands and record companies and zines and everything, and sometimes i think that the world is so full of information: images, sounds, etc., that it almost makes me not want to add to the noise. like the better thing to do is to not do.
i have that feeling in fleeting moments. not sure how valid(?) it is.